Laying Low

“Laying Low” (c)Lawrence A Capozzolo

Laying low,
avoiding the rush.

I remember those forgotten,
the chosen few.

Many directions allowed,
because of  life given.

In the river,
i see the path abruptly end.

Many times walked,
unnoticed or blocked.

Looking up,
i remember.

-SWB

It’s Memorial Day in the United States. Even if you are not from our country, please remember someone today that gave their life so you could have a chance at yours.

Out Of A Coma

We’re back …. or at least out of a coma.

Slightly after our little stint of “help” from the folks at Sophisticated Pittsburgh on upping our number of blog writers, they in fact lost many of theirs.  In other words people got real jobs, go married, or just disappeared of the face of the earth at SP.  As a result, we are coming back to our original self.

So, about our original self. The blog experimentally started in 2005, and was moved to .mac via the Apple iWeb.  We started writing around the time that PittGirl, CafeWitness, and others started and gained one of the top growing blog rankings ending up with 2000 readers per day, across 15 countries while on the .mac site.

That actually scared us, considering the amount of vomit we spewed out in those days along with the other rant blogs.  I’m not sure we’ll be as harsh these days, but we’ll try.

BTW – while we were hosting on .mac, Apple kindly asked us to move our site due to their product not being originally made for the amount of throughput we were getting.

So, around Spring of 2008 we moved to WordPress.

The Weasel is back, and we will be blowing word chunks as far as possible.

Cheers

-SWB

Royal Wedding – Marriage At It’s Best

image (c)www.officialroyalwedding2011.org
 

What Marriage Should Be
The Royal Wedding

Yes, like everyone else we are going to talk about the Royal Wedding, and we were amongst the many getting up at 4am to witness the start.  What we aren’t going to do is rant on about the style of hats, the fashion techniques in making them, and the sophisticated dress of the occasion. What we are going to mention is the fact that the Royal Wedding – even the media show that it was made the marriage of two people truly in love and not marrying for convenience the priority of the event. Although we’ll admit we wished we were hat designers in London this year (it would have been a retirement year).

Click Here to read the rest of the article.

Changes To SWB

Our New Owners

Yup, we being taken over.

This is for the good.  After being inactive for a while, another site has inquired about taking over Screaming Weasel.  There will be changes, it will retain some of  the sarcasm, but will lose some of the “rantiness”  and negativity that it had when it started around 2005-2006 and rant blogs were the fad – although we will gripe a little through it,  and SWB will be the occasional guest writer.

We think you’ll like it … and what it will present about Pittsburgh.

If you want to check out our new owners, Click Here

Here is their future WordPress Blog (Click Here)

Please welcome Karyon Nightly (sophisticatedpgh) as  the new main writer.

-SWB

St. Patrick’s Day Parade Changes

Well, it’s less than a week from the 2010 St. Patty’s Day parade, and if you haven’t heard there are changes.

Yup … in a town that pushes back against changes like a 767 jet engine pushing back against a 100 ton hydraulic press … that seems a little weird.

I mean … no party in Market Square.  Who cares if it’s a mud pit right now … nobody is usually coherent enough during the parade to care or notice, and if they wake up back home covered in mother earth they’ll just figure they forgot to take their clothes off before hitting the mud bath at the spa.

And no open alcohol.  That’s an issue.  Not that I’m pro-drunks or of the thinking that being Irish is about being drunk.  Absolutely not … that’s just offensive.  This issue is that the best part of the parade is not the parade (although that is a good show) – it’s watching the drunks pinging off the telephone poles. Since most of the poles are metal in the city, depending on the frequency and size of the heads hitting them, you can occasionally hear a tune being played from the pings … honest.

I’ll miss that.

… and what excuse will you have for your boss when he’s working on the weekend and sees you dancing on top of the parked cars in the street??  If you actually did things like that sober, you probably wouldn’t be working for him.

-SWB

PS – Oh well, change happens … sometime not for the best.

Anyway, Click Here for a link with some info on the changes from Channel 4.

I miss the snow

I Miss The Snow

I miss the snow, with it’s golden white glow.

I miss the snow, giving the back pains that make me realize that I am alive.

I miss the snow, the sounds of wheezing old men that have replaced the song of the birds that have flown.

I miss the snow, the creeks of the old house as it folds into itself below.

I miss the snow, the sleds racing down and the kid’s faces just before they hit the trees and scream, “OH NO!!!”

I miss the snow, the pristine softness of the white blanket fallen from the sky as I admire it after falling on the ice down low.

I miss the snow, the men all in white with the carrot snouts and black charcoal eyes …

Oh wait … crap … those are actually the guys from the insane asylum.  They must have read my post and found out I escaped again ….

gotta run ….. and run ….. and run …..

-SWB

PS – Enjoy the snowball fights until Sunday.

It’s Back ………

Yup … it’s payback time from Mother Nature.

We spent years laughing at the winters we were getting … now people up north, even as far as Canada are laughing at us.

Well, maybe not Vancouver, simply because they’re knee deep in expenses for moving snow in for the Olympics.  You know, why not make things more exciting by changing down-hill skiing to down hill rock surfing?

That would solve the problem with the snow deficiency in Vancouver.

Anyway … I hope you enjoy the picture above more than the salt flavored, brown snow probably laying in your own yard from the plows.

Otherwise … enjoy the winter

-SWB

PS – To all the old folks out shoveling … kids were born for a reason – to do that for you.

They’re back …….

… who?

The terminator?

The Back Street Boys?

Kanye West’s career?

Nope …. none of the above.

The leaves … those wonderful leaves we all so treasure when the seasons change?

Yep, that’s it.

Unfortunately, this year they also brought the G-20, protesters, and construction debris.

So what do we have to rake up this season?

As far as SWB can tell:

• Opie’s popcorn in the media room at Snoop Dogg’s house
• Shards of glass within the normal level of street litter in Oakland
• and rubber from the wrecks caused by PennDot construction this fall.

What does this do?

Well, it brings new people to the city (either those that experienced the city for the first time during the G-20, or just like to see it during the seasonal changes), it adds safety to our streets (less the over-turned cars trying to avoid the road workers), and gets voices heard (even if you don’t agree with them).

This brings both good and bad points. The more we become an international city, the more we have to learn. The more of a variety of people that populate Pittsburgh, the more of a chance of both the good and bad things from other countries taking root here (anything from fresh baklava to terrorism). In some way, America and Pittsburgh has always found a way to find the good in things – at least the American people do (native and adopted).

Another thing that is back and can only bring pure happiness to the masses:

You guessed it …. Zombie movies.

Zombieland starts this week (Oct 2) ….. totally brainless, and fictional zombie fun almost pulled straight from the first Dawn of The Dead eras.

See … just when you thought everything was turning negative – a Zombie movie comes out to save the day.

Two things to remember about Pittsburgh:

1. This city was pretty much international from the beginning (so deal with it)
2. Romero really introduced zombie movies to the masses from this city (so deal with that too)

-SWB

PS – Did anyone see my mascara?? I need it for the movie opening tomorrow night …. crap.

Time to pack up the outdoor pets … including the kids

Yep, you guessed it by the pic … fall is quite quickly on it’s way. (BTW – isn’t it interesting how simple words like “quite quickly” when put together make you sound like you have some command of the English language??).
It’s time to get the leaf rake out, pull the fish and frogs out of the pond (if you do that), find your kid that fall / winter coat, and go back to supporting your local Starbucks (personally I support local companies like Crazy Mocha in Pittsburgh, but SWB realizes most are weak towards simple advertising tactics and don’t have the strength to support local biz …. but that’s another posting). It’s also time to attempt to locate and sift through years of Christmas decorations (because you probably dumped those decorations on top of your fall decorations and don’t remember which box(s) they are in).

Why to do many look towards the season change?

Simple.

We have something new to complain about …. hence:

^$%&^& heat

$^%#$^ leaves

@#%#$% snow

@#%$@ rain

… see – simple.

People think they look forward to the fall season (or spring, etc) because of things like the beauty of it, cuddles with a loved one, bringing back of childhood memories …. but no – it really is just so we can have something new to complain about, nothing more.

You know those wonderful kids that were playing outside all summer? … they will now be inside all day going “mommy Mommy MOMMYYYYYYY!!!” … or just yelling all the new obscenities they just learned at school, so we can probably at the following to our list of complaints:

%^$%^% kids

And the pets that can’t wait to get outside to do their “thing”,will now want to stay inside where it’s warm and of course, do their thing there – so we can add:

$%^%$^ dogs

#$$##$ cats

#$^%%$ fish

honey, the @%%#^ cat ate that #$%##%$ frog and two of the #$%#% fish, and my Scrooge figurine off of the train set.

So, really, why the picture of the cozy looking bench during fall in the city park?

The reality is … after you’ve made your first batch of Limoncello because you read my last article and all of the inhabitants of your household slowly move back in from the summer months ….. that’s probably where you will end up (with your bottle of Limoncello).

Well, good luck and enjoy the fall season …

… and remember to buy a house with a den that has a lockable door on it next time 🙂

-SWB

PS – That thing with the cat, the frog, and the fish …. yep …. that actually happens in my house.

Oktoberfest!!!!

Capture from Hofbrauhaus Pittsburgh’s site – click to go there.

Now … to the truly important stuff!

Yep – it’s nearing that time of the year for Oktoberfest, and according to HB’s latest ad and events listing – it’s going to be a two weekend thing. Check the link for the event details.

To help you out … here are a few tidbits of advice from someone that has grown up with brew and the cuisine:

• First, and most important – German beer is WAY more potent that American beer (no matter what the menu says) … even when brewed here. Think of a pint as equaling half a case. Chugging German brewed beer usually ends up in you meeting an ambulance that doesn’t have a tap installed in it.
• Second – Don’t lecture a true German on the finer points of Iron City beer (even though it is our hometown brew and loved by many) as they tend to consider it **** water – and may openly tell you that.
• Third – Pretzels and bier cheese, pretzels and bier cheese, pretzels and bier cheese ……
• Fourth – If you are taking the wife and kids and are planning on getting drunk enough to stare at the staff in the traditional dresses, making lewd comments in front of your family … wear a helmet and make sure your lawyer’s retainer is paid up.
• Fifth – Pretzels and bier cheese, pretzels and bier cheese, pretzels and bier cheese ……
• Sixth – You don’t hold the pint mug by the handle … you put your hand through the handle, grab the pint, and the back of your hand rests on the handle.
• Seventh – Even though HB was nice enough to produce a “light” beer for the American consumers, please refrain from talking about it – light beer is not real beer.
• Eighth – If this is the first time you are drinking German beer and usually drink light beers, your friends will get a kick out of the three shades of green you will probably turn after the first gulp. This is not a bad thing … it’s just the German beer getting the American beer toxins out of your blood stream and only lasts a few minutes.
• Nineth – Burping five times during each 16 ounces is an American tradition … try to avoid doing it in a German bier hall.
• Tenth – That number for a cab is your key to not killing someone or spending time in jail. Don’t drive if you were dumb enough to chug Dunkel.

Hofbrauhaus Pittsburgh is found in SWB Recommends!

-SWB

PS – No … all of that beer in her arms is not just for you!

Review: Lakemont Park in Altoona PA

Capture from Lakemont Park’s website – click it to go there. Going through bad economic times, like everyone else SWB was looking for a great place to take his family for the 4th Of July.

We had know about Lakemont Park for a while, but never visited. This year we went. The 4th Of July deal is $5 ride-all-day. It was well worth it.

If you are not familiar, or never noticed Lakemont on one of WQED’s specials, it is a traditional family picnic park. Don’t go running there thinking you are getting a miniature Kennywood – your aren’t. Think over-sized carnival. It does hold one of the original and longest running wooden roller coasters in the world (click here for the park’s history), and a nice traditional wooden roller coaster – along with a great collection of rides the whole family can enjoy. The promotions in the park are truly amazing.

Although small, Lakemont is really worth the drive due to the perks below:

• It’s Clean ….. it’s REALLY clean. I would eat off their sidewalks, even at the end of the day.
• It’s extremely family oriented – there are even several model railway train displays to view.
• People bring in their own chairs, tents, and grills (I even spotted a few people bringing in smokers) – no kidding.
• Paddle Boats are included in the ride-all-day ticket. You have to wait a long while, but then again you don’t have to pay an hourly fee.
• Everything is very accessible in the park for large, small, and handicapped.
• The promotions and pricing and geared to bringing you back more than once per summer.
• You can easily enjoy this park for under $50 for a family of four.

In our opinion, Lakemont Park made our 4th Of July, and we will keep supporting them so others can experience the same.

Lakemont will be listed on SWB Recommends.

-SWB

PS – you gotta get the jumbo corn dogs … really!

Pittsburgh 4th Of July Fireworks 2009

Very simple post here.

Notice to Mayor and EQT …

Pittsburgh does the Pittsburgh 4th Of July *Zambelli* Fireworks show, a tradition we are internationally known for and the residents of Pittsburgh Expect.

Thanks for ruining one of the biggest traditions in Pittsburgh.

-SWB

PS – We used to support Mayor Opie … no more.

BTW – we usually like to add a little quick witted humor, but that’s not possible here.

Summertime Gas Prices upon us

The sun is out, the flowers are in full bloom, the sap is starting to fall on your car from the trees ….. and we are all waiting for that one last sign that signifies the start of summer – skyrocketing gas prices.

It has showed already, even faster than expected, but … in articles like the one seen in USA Today (Click Here to read) by Julie Schmit, it is being reported that prices will level off because consumer confidence may not be as high as expected and global economic recovery is not happening as quickly as expected.

HOW DARE THEY!!!!

There are three things the summer is known for:

• Outdoor cookouts of burgers and hot dogs
• Outdoor drinking of beer and margaritas
• Complaining about gasoline prices

If you take away complaining about gasoline prices in the summer, the only thing your are going to have by process of elimination is a bunch of fat drunks. How do you thinks this will help the economy ?!?!?!

Think about it – if we become a bunch of overweight carnivorous eating slobs that can’t fit out the front door – who’s going to buy gasoline? … our pets??? How dare the oil companies stop raising gasoline prices in the summer … it’s our God-given right to be gouged when the sun comes out!

-SWB

PS – For the clueless … we were being sarcastic in this post. If you still don’t get it, have a friend explain.

Happy Easter from the Rabbits of Caerbannog

Picture from monstersinmotion.us. Click it to go there.Once thought of as a myth and currently upset due to the lack of media attention The Killer Rabbits of Caerbannog wanted to show their “good” side and wish you a Happy Easter. They somehow found SWB to be the appropriate venue to do this. If you find this offensive, we apologize, but they snuck in the front door with fresh blood on their teeth and are holding my two dogs hostage until this post gets read.

Oh, they wanted to make sure everyone knew that an article about them in Uncyclopedia (Click Here) is not true. They say they are really friendly cute animals and should not be discriminated against due to having a different diets than the other bunnies. Supposedly they say they give each other Easter baskets too, and quite enjoy the holiday (although SWB is pretty sure they’re not celebrating the religious part).

While they are looking away …. here is a BIG warning from SWB: When they are little, they look like regular cute little bunnies, but once they get to consuming chocolate, they fully grow within hours and will attack anything that moves. Since they are trying to make a comeback, they’ve infiltrated pet stores worldwide – so SWB asks you … please, please, please *do not* buy your child a bunny for Easter, if it is a Caerbannog Killer Rabbit offspring you most likely will not survive!!! Head this warning … they are not religious in any way and are truly evil ….

-SWB

PS – Oh, crap …. they saw me write the last warning ……

Good Friday At Phipps (Spring show review)

Being Good Friday, the company I workd for actually gave me the day off.  With school off, I decided to take my step-daughter to Phipps Conservatory to see the Sprint Show as I had not had the chance as of yet.

One of the exhibits I was very interested in check out was the new Rain Forest exhibit.  I had a chance to see it being put together in the end stage, but the last time I was at Phipps it had not opened yet.  It was worth the wait.  As always Phipps never ceases to amaze me in what they can do with the space they have to work with.  Walking through the new exhibit was amazing.  The smells, waterfalls, streams all made me feel like I walked into a National Geographic special.

Our review – it’s one of those “just go, it’s worth it” ones.

Click Here for a link to the Phipps Spring Show, and keep in mind there is permanent glass art from Chihuly at Phipps.

-SWB

PS – This is a great place to lose your kids … by accident, of course 🙂