Archive for the ‘funny poem’ Category

We do the things that we do

September 15, 2016 Leave a comment

ThoughtsForTheStrangeWe do the things we do, because we do the things we do.

The things that make us happy, the things that make us sad.

Working away the blues that do, adding to the regrets that been done.

Listening away at the last minutes of today wishing it were less of a fray.

hmmmm …. a bucket of fried chicken would be good now.

… add dog on porch, get country song.



Out Of A Coma

September 17, 2012 Leave a comment

We’re back …. or at least out of a coma.

Slightly after our little stint of “help” from the folks at Sophisticated Pittsburgh on upping our number of blog writers, they in fact lost many of theirs.  In other words people got real jobs, go married, or just disappeared of the face of the earth at SP.  As a result, we are coming back to our original self.

So, about our original self. The blog experimentally started in 2005, and was moved to .mac via the Apple iWeb.  We started writing around the time that PittGirl, CafeWitness, and others started and gained one of the top growing blog rankings ending up with 2000 readers per day, across 15 countries while on the .mac site.

That actually scared us, considering the amount of vomit we spewed out in those days along with the other rant blogs.  I’m not sure we’ll be as harsh these days, but we’ll try.

BTW – while we were hosting on .mac, Apple kindly asked us to move our site due to their product not being originally made for the amount of throughput we were getting.

So, around Spring of 2008 we moved to WordPress.

The Weasel is back, and we will be blowing word chunks as far as possible.



Changes To SWB

January 24, 2011 2 comments

Our New Owners

Yup, we being taken over.

This is for the good.  After being inactive for a while, another site has inquired about taking over Screaming Weasel.  There will be changes, it will retain some of  the sarcasm, but will lose some of the “rantiness”  and negativity that it had when it started around 2005-2006 and rant blogs were the fad – although we will gripe a little through it,  and SWB will be the occasional guest writer.

We think you’ll like it … and what it will present about Pittsburgh.

If you want to check out our new owners, Click Here

Here is their future WordPress Blog (Click Here)

Please welcome Karyon Nightly (sophisticatedpgh) as  the new main writer.


I miss the snow

March 2, 2010 Leave a comment

I Miss The Snow

I miss the snow, with it’s golden white glow.

I miss the snow, giving the back pains that make me realize that I am alive.

I miss the snow, the sounds of wheezing old men that have replaced the song of the birds that have flown.

I miss the snow, the creeks of the old house as it folds into itself below.

I miss the snow, the sleds racing down and the kid’s faces just before they hit the trees and scream, “OH NO!!!”

I miss the snow, the pristine softness of the white blanket fallen from the sky as I admire it after falling on the ice down low.

I miss the snow, the men all in white with the carrot snouts and black charcoal eyes …

Oh wait … crap … those are actually the guys from the insane asylum.  They must have read my post and found out I escaped again ….

gotta run ….. and run ….. and run …..


PS – Enjoy the snowball fights until Sunday.

My Winter 2010

February 18, 2010 Leave a comment

My Winter

Staring out the window, the only sight … three feet of snow.

Our family pup alerting us the hard way, the snow gives him no where to go (and we’re running out of paper towels).

The boredom in the eyes of a young anxious child (energy building up to blow).

This year’s winter woes, payback for complaining about years without snows (we complained of no winters, didn’t we??).

Sledding a perk this year, if actually finding the hill wasn’t so much work (I’m getting too old for this !@#@).

A white comforter of snow padding my garage, now laying on my car (the insurance adjuster crying while cutting the check).

My new shoes once bright and shiny, now crusty, filthy, and whiny (even Payless is beyond what I can afford now … since they are trying to be “fashionable”).

Two family fur balls now swimming in the basement flooding from the winter’s thaw of revenge (they’re cats … they float).

Icicles forming on the stairs going to the bedroom, the heat finally giving way to the cold (the electric company forgot about us again … go figure).

The confused looks of those in my house, now turning blue (like I’m supposed to do anything about this white crap).

These are my memories of the snowy winter wonders from the Pittsburgh winter blizzard of 2010 (Brandy … I need another bottle of Brandy!!).


PS – Mother Nature is sticking her tongue out at us and laughing.

A Strange Light

July 23, 2009 Leave a comment

swbtwitterAnother poetic creation from SWB:

A Strange Light


A strange light did flash in front of my eyes,

I had cut with my shovel into an electric line of quite some size.


A blue glow embraced my vibrating head,

Making me yearn for a few aspirin and my bed.


The sky started spinning with all it’s might,

Obviously controlled by that amazingly strange light.


I started to fly at an amazing rate,

My friends running behind me as if for a meeting they were late.


Looking forward, I came crashing into moving colors of orange, red, and yellow,

And from deep inside me a scream that seemed more like a bellow.


The EMT looked at me and muttered, “what and idiotic little ditz”,

“For a while his brain will be on the fritz.”


My trusty shovel thrown on he ground now melted and burnt to crisp,

My mind tossed and feeling now lighter than a little wisp.


PS – Another useless poem with absolutely no meaning brought to you by Screaming Weasel. If you have wasted 3 minutes or more reading this, we thank you. If you spent any time actually pondering it ….. that just scares us.

A Song Of Days – SWB Style

May 22, 2009 Leave a comment

swbtwitterOn days SWB has no ambition or content with any sign of intelligence to write, we try to make up something that looks like we actually tried, when in actuality we didn’t even bother … so here it goes:


A Song of Days

It’s Monday early in the day,

and my cinnamon flavored dog ate half my car.


It’s Tuesday late,

and my dinner looks like it’s found it’s own fate



Yeah, Yeah,

It’s a bad day every day ….. wooooo hoooooo hoooooo


It’s Wednesday and my hump broke,


See, told ya … no effort at all


PS – Blog writers have absolutely no right to even attempt to write lyrics to songs. We think we have effectively proven that here ….

Update (1 minute after post): {{groan}} SWB was wrong again … immediately upon posting this brainless attempt at writing a song, Britney Spears bought the rights to it for her next comeback album. We honestly feel sorry for those that love pop music.