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Thinking Inside The Box

September 26, 2016 Leave a comment

thinkinsidetheboxYou read it right … “think inside the box”.

It’s the new buzz phrase around the water cooler (or Redbull dispenser – whichever you have).

Confused? Yes – Good. I don’t have throw my coffee cup away yet.

Here is a little bit the chew on. We’ve been thinking so hard “outside the box” since the latter 80s that, well, “thinking outside the box” is now THE BOX.

The idea behind “thinking outside the box” is doing things differently than everyone else, or truly failing differently than everyone else has been years before you to discover newer, better ways to do the things you do (hmmm … that sounds like a tag line for a really bad millennial commercial). Just to be specific … a really bad millennial commercial is one of those ones where you reach the end, and if there isn’t a company brand floating all over the screen you basically end up thinking “WFT????????????????????? (not WTF … see, now THAT’s being different – we think outside the box here at SWB on a regular basis).”

Considering I work in two ever changing tech fields (Information Technology and Sound Engineering), thinking differently with a good baseline of a solid box to sit new advances on is critical. It’s the only way solid advances are made – along with a little bit of user beta testing and QA processes. Oops, sorry, too many corporate words in that sentence … get over it, and don’t judge me (this is a free country and I’m allowed to enjoy my stereotype).

Want an example? (you guessed it, I’m going to pick on the millennial kiddies again):

Well, whether you like it or not here it is: The big news item on millennials is them living in shared housing. Guess what?  That’s hippie communal living ….. from the 60s. Yep, the newbies couldn’t think of anything but what was already done. If there a difference between the two groups?  Yes – the millennials, even though living in a shared enviro are still materialistic entitled nerds trying to look like they are helping the world by living in a shared environment (filled with many things created with manufacturing processes that are massively toxic). The hippies actually lived together to try and help each other live off the land and share resources, in theory bettering the world (then they discovered mini vans and some of them became hot soccer moms, so that ideal went south). Basically the hippies in today’s world became the box. The millennials are the box too, they just built one that was translucent so they could be in denial about being in it (ya know – if you can’t see it, it’s not there).  BTW …. lots of corporate people do that too.

To get a grip on things – thinking outside the box became the inside of the box and the only way to actually think outside of the box was to get back in the box thus avoiding the outside of the box standard issue thinking that was actually inside the box and in reality only a facsimile of the outside of the box which is limiting your ability to create and innovate inside the box while trying to claw your way out. Simple.

{{place confused dog head tilt here}}

This is not insanity … hang in there, we just bought a new bag of treats and we’ll give you one once you “get it”.

The latest big deal is gamification. See we’re already doing it here at SWB … you get a “treat” if you “get it”. Goal!!!

Keep in mind this doesn’t mean we have to “get it”, just as long as you do. We’ll have no idea what you are actually “getting”, but what the heck, we’re too old to care.

Gamification …. for those not familiar, it’s basically setting a goal and leaving a trail of chocolate chip cookies to it. For those that may have issues getting to their goals because they may be allergic to the chocolate, or the nut particles that may have ended up in the cookies … they can always get a second mortgage on their house to purchase an EpiPen from Mylan helping them get back on track.

Granted, with all of the millennials around me, I was starting to feel left out … so I ordered myself two boxes of trophies from Oriental Trading to make up for all the ones my teachers, coaches, and parents never handed out to me {sniff!}. I want gamification too … hopefully today’s trophy will be a Pez dispenser filled with cola flavored candies.

So, do you get it? … I know you’ve chewed a bit (and we do realize that might be your own tongue you are chewing … you might want to realize that too) … which means you have to be close to “getting it”. Remember, we have fresh treats.

Got it?

It’s all a game of making your outside the box thinking last long enough to allow you to make a difference before someone defines you as “the box”.

… or you can just grab a coffee, go fishing, and allow someone else to stroke out over it.

-SWB

  • Reality shows were initially created to give you a peak into someone else’s real life freeing you from the typically scripted shows with tons of writers … now the reality shows are massively scripted with more writers than a sitcom of the same length. Reality shows are now hated and have become a box that’s worse that the previous box.
  • A great film maker named George Romero was best known for creating an entirely new film experience – zombie movies. The Walking Dead did an excellent job of thinking outside the box and improving on George’s innovation in an actual TV series … then everyone copied and created endless amounts of copy cat zombie movies … enough to induce vomiting by 1 in 5 people on a daily basis. Overkill made an even thicker box that may never be broken out of.
  • IBM created and innovation called the “PC” by thinking way outside the box of their room sized behemoths that even large corporations struggled to afford. Others thought even further outside of the box making those “PCs” the mainstay of data centers, but drove that into a level of overkill that convinced IBM to go back to their old “in the box” creation “the mainframe”.  Guess what you are on most of the time when you use “the cloud”? BTW … the cloud is an innovation that’s been around since about the latter 80s.

The Glory of Windshield Wipers

September 16, 2016 Leave a comment

SWBBlahBlahHuh?!?!?!?!?!

Yeah, we expected that response with the title.

Let me explain a little further.

You’ve  been married for a long time, even though the amazing intimacy has disappeared a long while ago, you still have your best friend.

You now have a teenager, so your Dodge Viper has been traded in for a used mini-van, and you are toting your teen around to every event because you could buy a new car for the yearly insurance on a teen for your auto.

Your teenager has now discovered the joys of human attraction … so the boy “friends” or girl “friends” are now showing up droves and you can’t keep the names straight (let alone which one your teen is with).

The joys of a brand new tech toy, brand new sports car, brand new boat, brand new house, etc have fleeted away a long time ago …. with most of you personal time and pocket change.

So what do windshield wipers even have to do with this (remember this IS a blah blah blah article)?

You finally skimmed enough off the top of the family funds to afford your new set of $12 snazzy windshield wipers from Wally World.

The moral of the story – you’re old.

Next week the kiddies will have you in a retirement home.

Enjoy.

-SWB

 

The Mascot, The Poodle, Stereotypes, and the quest for readership

September 13, 2016 Leave a comment

brandycmYou guessed it … it had to happen … one of the pets of a SWB writer became the mascot.

Was this because of the old, wise-dog look of an 8.5 year old pup?

No.

Was it because she did something terrible, like eating the toy poodle sitting next to her and we’re trying to clear her name?

Possibly.

Here’s the truth … we’ll stoop as low as possible to get readership … as most blog owners will. It’s just reality. When you are competing against tens of thousands of other writers than can’t write, along with another ten thousand legitimate journalists with blogs, resorting to a pic of a cute pup enjoying the day at an outdoor coffee shop works …

at least with the women (yes, that was a sexist statement … we know it … but it’s true, so we’re still using it). We couldn’t find a football to stick next to the dog, so we know the guys will care less about the post (stereotypes are our thing).

No we didn’t feed the dog coffee, well … at least we didn’t until she held the poodle hostage.

Hmm …. actually, maybe we should have let her keep the poodle as a hostage as leverage to see if we could get her signed as the mascot for the Riverhounds (oh wait … they don’t make enough money yet). Maybe we can get a deal with the Steelers … on the other hand, they already have a dog (Ben).

We need a sports team that wants a mascot so I can make a ton of money off the last few years of this animal, buy a new house, and stop writing this crap.

Maybe the Pirates (they’re resembling a country dog now …. lay on porch, do nothing).

… or the Penguins (wait …. I can’t pick on them – Mario only lives a mile from where I’m writing this, and he’s bigger than I am).

Dreams.

Yes … she ate the poodle – said it tasted like cat hair.

-SWB

P.S. We hope you enjoyed the mindless sanctuary your brain went into when you were reading this – it will help your therapist enjoy your next session.

P.S. P.S. PLEASE tell your friends you actually read this garbage … the more people we dumb down, the smarter our blog looks 🙂   Cool, huh? Modern marketing at work.

Stupidity Persists – the liberty bridge burning

September 12, 2016 Leave a comment

liberty-bridge-fire-1Image (c) pittsburgh.cbslocal.com … see article: http://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/photo-galleries/2016/09/02/smoke-rises-over-city-during-tarp-fire-on-liberty-bridge/

N’uff for the credits (we thank CBS for posting the pics and article), now for our bit:

Most of us that have giving ideas to SWB or written the rant, smack, and whining we put into words in this blog have also worked many years with events and other goings on in Pittsburgh (city and surrounding) and we’ve dealt with the safety harassment of the city’s demands on fire retardant ratings for anything during those events.

Basically that means when something started burning it has to stop after so many seconds or minute (I don’t remember all the direct specs).

BTW …. by harassment, I mean having your event shut down or delayed … having artists break their tents down until they can get a fire retardant tent or you can provide one, etc, etc.

Which makes SWB ask the question —– how did this even happen???

IF the city pushed and harassed those bridge contractors as they do the common folk running events within the city limits, that fire should have put itself out minutes after it started with NO damage or safety threats to anyone.

In other words, this should have never happened ….. but as we can see the same tarps are the ones still covering the work areas on the bridge – lovely.

It’s great the contractor or paying $200k plus per day along with the damages to the bridge on top of that … but it’s not like the people that are actually inconvenienced are getting free gas or wear and tear money from the contractor – but I’m sure if those same inconvenienced people decide to work at or host an event in Pittsburgh they will confronted with the fire retardant safety demands of the city … unlike the contractors working on it’s critical infrastructure.

So … the first SWB Clueless award goes to both the Liberty Bridge contractors along with the city itself (sorry, it was too much of a tie to give either one total credit for that level of stupidity considering many lives could have actually been lost).

-SWB

Switching Positions – Crazy Mocha

September 12, 2016 Leave a comment

cr-first-day-picAlrighty, then ….. for all those loving to jump to conclusions, this article isn’t about making lifestyle choices or anything of the such.

Sorry to disappoint y’all … so ya can jump back from whatever conclusion you landed on (or skip reading this post and pop in your “Office Space” VHS tape .. which will probably be more entertaining).

Anywayz (we’re adding “z’s” to then end of lots of words to appeal more the Millennial generation) :-),

The pic is the view of the new Crazy Mocha store in Sewickley, PA. Now, for a SWB article, does this have a point at all?

Yep.

The blog, when it was on Apple’s web hosting site (yeeeeaaaarrrrs ago) was started with it’s first post in April of 2006 and the posts for years after being written at the Crazy Mocha in Southside when the company had a few stores to speak of. At least two other national blogs and twenty to thirty long time running local blogs were started that year in that Crazy Mocha location.

Now, the newest gem of the store chain – the relocated site in Sewickley PA site has opened for it’s first day with the chain now having way over 30 stores in multiple states (not bad for a local Pittsburgh company, right?)

In honor of Crazy Mocha providing such a beautiful new store, SWB thought it might be a good time to re-kick Screaming Weasel (not to mention with some inspiration from the latest literal bridge burning of the Liberty Bridge).

Check out the new store if you get a chance – even if you don’t live in the area … it is well worth the stop in to another location to celebrate and support a local company.

If you can’t get out to Sewickley – stop at another Crazy Mocha and tell them you saw the post!

-SW

Out Of A Coma

September 17, 2012 Leave a comment

We’re back …. or at least out of a coma.

Slightly after our little stint of “help” from the folks at Sophisticated Pittsburgh on upping our number of blog writers, they in fact lost many of theirs.  In other words people got real jobs, go married, or just disappeared of the face of the earth at SP.  As a result, we are coming back to our original self.

So, about our original self. The blog experimentally started in 2005, and was moved to .mac via the Apple iWeb.  We started writing around the time that PittGirl, CafeWitness, and others started and gained one of the top growing blog rankings ending up with 2000 readers per day, across 15 countries while on the .mac site.

That actually scared us, considering the amount of vomit we spewed out in those days along with the other rant blogs.  I’m not sure we’ll be as harsh these days, but we’ll try.

BTW – while we were hosting on .mac, Apple kindly asked us to move our site due to their product not being originally made for the amount of throughput we were getting.

So, around Spring of 2008 we moved to WordPress.

The Weasel is back, and we will be blowing word chunks as far as possible.

Cheers

-SWB

Changes To SWB

January 24, 2011 2 comments

Our New Owners

Yup, we being taken over.

This is for the good.  After being inactive for a while, another site has inquired about taking over Screaming Weasel.  There will be changes, it will retain some of  the sarcasm, but will lose some of the “rantiness”  and negativity that it had when it started around 2005-2006 and rant blogs were the fad – although we will gripe a little through it,  and SWB will be the occasional guest writer.

We think you’ll like it … and what it will present about Pittsburgh.

If you want to check out our new owners, Click Here

Here is their future WordPress Blog (Click Here)

Please welcome Karyon Nightly (sophisticatedpgh) as  the new main writer.

-SWB