Exhausted

“Exhausted” (c)Lawrence A Capozzolo

Exhausted this time,
tired of waiting in line.

Extended beyond needs,
no life left to do deeds,

Exhausted this time,
the only thing left – a stupid rhyme.

Typing out the words,
that everyone has already heard.

Exhausted in time,
why lie?

-SWB

…… back to our really bad poetry series 🙂

Big Truck Rant (Maybe)

Really?

Earlier this week I was picking up lawn mower parts at a big box hardware store. While I was there and going up the road that accesses the store a truck basically pushed myself and one or two other cars behind me almost or into the lane of opposing traffic.

Typical scenario – right? Typical action on a truck driver, right?

I don’t believe so – I have too many friends that professionally drive, so I don’t believe this in any way is typical. I believe a truck driver doing this is the minority.

Having said that, I beeped simply because I didn’t think the driver noticed me. At the angle he was going there was a strong possibility of a big blind spot. I finally got past him and proceeded to park and go into the store to purchase the parts I needed.

When I was in the store, the truck driver sought me out and confronted me.

He started with “Thanks for the beep – I was in the truck”.

I replied with “I beeped because I didn’t think you noticed me already half was up your rig since you only turn your turn signals on half into the turn”.

He replied with “That’s BS” and proceeded to harass me in the store. When I walked away he aggressively followed me until I got to  customer service desk. I alerted the rep of the situation and quickly checked out to make sure thy driver did not go back out to damage my car.

Later I alerted the big box hardware co via their customer service email of the harassment and fear that the driver may have also taken down my license plate to harass me or my family later.

The big box hardware co replied back with a letter that basically said “unfortunately they’re just a vendor to us, so we really don’t care”. In other words “we have better lawyers than you could ever get ….. so don’t worry about trying to take legal action to protect yourself”.

Now … this is a rant post if the driver was wrong in finding a harassing a customer of a business they were supplying it.

So, knowing other professional drivers and having their opinions … what do SWB’s readers think?  do I pursue or drop?

I still award a clueless trophy to the driver for being dumb enough to harass a customer of a business you want to remain a vendor for.

-SWB

Screaming Weasel

Yep … that’s us!

A bit about “us” – since many have only been introduced to us recently, and nobody ever reads the “about” tab – and honestly, some time we just put things in it to be goofballs.

Most of the time it’s me, the author, Lawrence Capozzolo (signed SWB). An American, or Italian/German American, or mutt, or one of the people that’s paying a mortgage to house my step-daughter’s four furry critters (two dogs, a cat, and a rat). We’re pretty sure the animals had their lawyer get their names on the deed for the house too. They may have taken ours off at this point.

SWB started originally started in 2006 when I purchased my G4 iBook and it had iWeb on it. I made my first posting after I noticed a blog called That’s Church (I’m pretty sure that was still its title back then – but I’m getting old, and memories fade fast now … so I could be incorrect.) The person writing “That’s Church” eventually went on to write for Pittsburgh Magazine.  Although my blog become popular in about fifteen countries doing about 1.2 million hits a year, I chose getting back into I.T. work (I could have been smarter and went back to school for carpentry or plumbing or HVAC …. but NO, I stuck with I.T.) therefore still writing but not keeping it up eventually doing it professionally.

The blog was started, like others at the time as a rant blog (humorous rant). I figured people would find humor in the annoying blabberings of us tech types, and I was right. Now that I’m close to 50 (ok …. REALLY close) I’m getting back into writing for it and doing photography for it again (unless otherwise stated – those photos are really mine) basically because of ageism (tech is becoming like the NFL … if you didn’t get your first Ferrari right in the beginning, the youngin’s aren’t going to give you a chance to get one now … you’re too old to work in tech) I’m back to writing. I like doing it anyway.

I don’t know if I’ll get my numbers back up or if I’ll ever get a donation (but although I’m not a non-profit, please keep in mind I have to replace two cars, a furnace, and put a kid through university – so have a heart, consider donating).  Right now I do a little sound engineering work, etc – waiting to get back into tech if I ever do.  If I just end up writing, better yet.

Back to SWB. It will continue to be a showcase for humorous rant, really bad poetry, attempts at legitimate poetry, and whatever gets thrown into it. Some others may write for it (if they do you will know). If you like the writing, please like the posts or blog – if you really like it – follow, if you think I should put it into a book – donate. Remember, books still do things like enabling me to generate enough money to donate to others that love to do what writers love to do.

The photography is also part of the showcasing in SWB, I’ve been doing this since the age of 13 …. so 36 years. You’ll notice various formats (slide, digital, modified, etc). The other site I write for Pittsburgh By Mini Cam is designed to be for low-res photography.

Yes … we do on purpose write badly, strangely, and horrendously (this is different from “badly” as it indicates a “graduate” level of “bad”). We try to make you think by readings that make you feel that Scotty forgot to but a few brain atoms back into you after beaming you up.

We just have fun.

… and we do consider padded rooms to be ultra comfy posh places. The straight jackets are slightly annoying though – especially when you have to type with your teeth.

We are the late show, art gallery, literary short, stand up comedian, sitcom, political humorist, poetm, life loving, opinionated schmucked (buggered for the British folks) up oxygen breathing carbon based units that you will hopefully learn to as least like. If not, click the “like” button anyway – people lie all the time.

-Lawrence A Capozzolo

SWB – “making legimate writer groan in agony”

Those Blooming People – Stick People Entitlement

 

… and Thoughts For The Strange

SWB Series Combined: Thoughts For The Strange and Thinking Inside The Box

Yep … a two-fer. Two columns of completely horrid writing and essay (or whatever you ant to call it) combined into one. We’re doing this for the Mils who might not want to take the time to read two whole articles … honestly we’re trying to adapt to our audience. And yes … we realize Alexa is probably actually the one reading it to them.

Think Inside The Box … protest against stick people!!!

Let’s see if we can get Alexa to give itself commands ….

“Alexa ….. read ….. crap”.

Alexa …. “reading Screaming Weasel Blog.”

… see, works every time.

Now on to something substantial {{insert groan here}}. The groaning doesn’t mean stop reading, it’ll be painful – but if we are all strong we can make it through.

Remember – I have to write this garbage … you just have to read it.

Ok …. now … really …

Those Blooming People (yes, I watch too much British TV – TV in America basically sucks, unless you’ve had your brain sucked out) – I’m tired of them, just like everyone else. Those entitled stick people walking around everywhere. They think they are due everything in life just because they were forced to spend years and years stuck to back windows on cars and trucks. They complain about everything …. and their dogs are too thin to keep leashes on them. I’ve been bitten six times by a stick dog that’s gotten out of its leash.

I mean, come on, stick people really aren’t people … they just think they are sentient after they finally fell off their perspective car or truck windows when their cage on wheels finally got turned into a cube in the end of life car compactor thingy. Yes, I said thingy – it’s a valid technical term.  No, you say?!? … sorry, it’s MY article so I can say what term is valid or not. Get – that – straight.

Now, this stick person entitlement issue.

I can understand humans becoming entitled.  I may not like it, but I can understand it. Although a technical person, at times I do actually dip into humanity – not much, but it happens – so as a result I do understand things a bit. But, even as a technical person, I’m not entitled – so why do stick people get to be? I mean it’s to the point where stick people have legislation going to keep stick dinosaurs that eat stick people from being put on cars and trucks. The stick people are completely offended that normal humans (and even tech people) take humor in them getting eaten by stick dinosaurs. It’s ridiculous, and a complete waste of the governments time. I’m sure it will end up in the Supreme Courts, wasting even more of the public’s money.

I still like Godzilla better than stick people. I grew up with Godzilla on TV. In relation to stick people … he’s my hero.

On to the box – I can see the corporate hiring quota systems changing right now:

1. Everyone else.
2. Stick People.
3. Typical tech guy.

I’ll never get a real job again.

All because of stick people entitlement. I mean really, things that were once on car windows now get rights? Really??

Maybe I’ll just get a job as a gardener … let me check Indeed.

Wait, What???? I can only get a job as a gardener if no stick flowers are included in the jobs I work, because it’s been negotiated that only stick people can work on gardens with stick flowers?!?!?!?!?!?

WTF???

I give up.

-SWB

Yep … we STRESS strange on this one.

 

Snowy Pine

“Snowy Pine” (c)Lawrence A Capozzolo

Snowy pine,
how cold and sublime.

The sun is out and be told,
this extended cold is getting old.

The delicate white floating into sight,
tests my might to keep the positive in life.

Cold covered branches,
would be warmed with nice hot matches.

This snowy bliss is crap,
i consider to be much amiss.

Snow pine,
in no way do I claim you as mine.

-SWB

Bad poetry of the day, and an ode to Phil’s prediction of the extended winter we experienced this year.

Scientifically Proven Fact

Strange … it’s strange.We are all real.

SWB Series: Thoughts For The Strange

We are real.

It’s been proven.

There are those that contest this and insist we are all figments of each other’s imaginations brought together by a rare form of quantum entanglement.

These are the “unrealists”.

The unrealists tend to pair the flat earth folks and they may be proving slightly similar points. Only one difficulty is found in this situation, and that is the mutual felling that each is unreal and just a figment of something (imagination or otherwise).

To those that are real, reality TV is a great outlet for life and an established place for daily humor, while for unrealists is a series of documentaries of what doesn’t exist (although, there are times where the real and unrealists have agreed on that point during a show – see, reality shows are sometimes so planned that they are truly unreal and fictional, which proves points on both sides of the  real and unreal arguments … ie. the fiction is real, but the situation is unreal and all are figments of otherwise).

Insane, right?

Not to the unrealists and those trying to disprove their points (themselves at times since unrealists are really figments of themselves … they think).

Now, all of these points are scientifically proven by some type of science somewhere … you just have to find it – or make it up until it exists.  Making it up isn’t wrong – at some point everything exists. Star Trek proved that.

Did you get that transparent aluminum serving bowl yet?

One of the best points in scientific practice is to try to disprove your point or theory. This puts the unrealists in a situation where they have to try to prove everything to be “real” placing them on the side of “the real” during this process. Politically this is an issue, because it causes internal strife with many “unrealist” organizations. Many a mini civil war within the unrealists have erupted during this disapproval process – even in purely scientific situations.

Scientists on both sides are trying to resolve this argument within 100 years … although this will be a challenge since both sides are still struggling with shapes and sizes, including that of the earth.

Unreal reality may result as a compromise to the argument.

This could ultimately result in things like the economy not being real and bread becoming free – since it wouldn’t be real in the world of the unrealists.

Note: To clarify “anti-reality” is not part of this discussion as it is a separate theory practiced under a completely different scientific discipline of the twisted grass method. This method would take close to a month to summarize, so we’ll hold off on that for now.

Please remember while reading this that this is completely unreal to the unrealists and the real alike simply because it is only a few atoms meshing into some form of digital ink (and if you try to make it completely real by printing it will damage your printer … since your printer is unreal, it can’t print anything real).

All hail reality!!!

… except for the unrealists.

-SWB … scientifically proven fact at it’s best.

We believe in inciting brain damage with words to help in keeping you from becoming a drug addict or alcoholic to obtain the same result.

Furballs N Things

Yep … We’re suckers.

We? (My Wife, Step-Kid, and Myself … and yes, I know that’s grammatically incorrect).

Some time last October (2017), we decided to adopt a friend for our rescue who was then about 9 1/2 years old. With all of us now out working (yes, my teen has a job), even with Dad in our house now – Brandy needed a friend.

Well, great …. Brandy got a friend. Wooohoooo! Yep, didn’t know what we were getting into.

Trouble dog? Nope – love’s everyone (as long as her food bowl is safe) – especially if you give her snuggles.

Doesn’t like the new home? Nope …. works out great for her (as you can see in the pic).

So what’s the issue? …

Fur …….. lots ……. of ……… fur.

So far we’ve had a Basenji/Lab mix and a Beagle/Boxer mix.

Basenji/Lab … occasional shedding.

Beagle/Boxer … it happens, but you don’t really notice it.

Golden/Something mix …… holy ****!!!!! …… basically to date we’ve needed to be rescued by the fire department at least twice due to the overnight shedding build up.

In the middle of the night I hear my wife “….. no air ….. all fur ….. can’t breath …. help ………. gasp”

So, what should we do?

We’ve has the following ideas:

1. Place her in a bag covering everything but her head so the can breath and permanently attached it to a vacuum cleaner, continually vaccing up the fur.
2. Spray all of her fur (less her face) in a concentrated Aquanet coating (heck …. it worked for the big hair ladies in the 80s).
3. Old fashioned Nair treatment (it’s been working for humans since the 40’s).

……. Note: for all of the pet lovers that will freak out about the statements about (please exclude yourself if you are a normal pet lover) … no, we are going to take any action on any of the ideas above. Our cat has advised us that the alternative resolution to our problem is for her to train us on how to hack up hairballs (and to buy an industrial vac).

… Groan

-SWB

The Friday that is a Monday

See the fog in the picture?  No, it’s not a photoshopped image of how Pittsburgh was supposed to look 30 to 40 years ago.  It’s how my head feels. Because of that, it feels like Monday.

… and for some reason the line in the coffee shop is never ending today, when normally at this time nobody besides the local police are hanging out here (not that it’s a bad place, they just like the coffee – although a little action would be entertaining in the morning).

It’s a great morning {note the sarcasm here} … I can’t get the new caulking around the bathtub to cure well, the kid was whining about not having pop-tarts for breakfast (possibly the most unhealthy thing there is first thing in the morning), the garage door is breaking, and our school board gods are starting to think they are actually god – I had to read about that in the local paper because obviously it was a sucky news day.

I’m sure some idiot will cut me off on the way to work, and my coffee will spill in the car again avoiding him.

The only perks I’ll get today is the view of the city driving into work, preceded by the aroma of Alcosan on the way.  You know your life is on the down side when you look forward to the aroma of Alcosan.

-SWB

Happy Friday

A Senseless Day

What is a senseless day to SWB?

Today.

The sun is out.  The air is cool. Everyone seems happy. The only real irritating news is of the 10th street bypass having construction near it soon, and that’s not really even irritating because we are so used to it. There is nothing to whine or rant about today.  that really sucks for this blog.

The only thing we can rant about is not being able to rant.

We’re even too used to potholes to care about that much anymore.

The politicians are all the same, so if we rant about one we automatically rant about the others in the same exact way, which nullifies any of our rant enough for anyone to actually really give a crap about it.

The rivers are flowing good, so we can’t even complain about stagnant water, or dead and decaying fish.

……… HELP US HERE!!!!!

-SWB (a frustrated weasel on a too nice of a day)

 

Enter The Weather

Got a great raised garden started this year …

Veggies grew fast, flower buds abound …

Then …

The bees left, the critters ate the flower buds, and my new raised garden slowly became a wilting weed box due to the drought.

So, what happens now, you ask????

Rain …. lots of it.  Right at the end of the garden growing season that allotted me two tomatoes, one green pepper, and five micro-miniature carrots (think eating with tweezers).

So, WTF?

I mean I realize I live in Pittsburgh, but I’m a descendent of Italian and German immigrants that farmed any of the land in Pittsburgh they set foot on and usually ended up having way to much to eat (which became compost for next years crop).

A few peppers, tomatoes, and some carrots …. that’s what I got. Now I have to go buy my crap.  I feel cheated, my ancestors owe me at least a few bushels of veggies.

…. and enter the weather … rain … can’t even cut the grass (which was dead most of the summer).

-SWB

P.S. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…….

Construction Season Is Here … WoooooHooooo!!!

It’s the time of year you’ve been waiting for ….. road construction season!

Wait ….

School has started …..construction should be over, because by some unwritten, but highly understood law – road construction only takes place during summer vacation season to fully enhance automobile driver road-rage.

But it’s still around …

Where have we found to be one of the bigger bottlenecks?

The parallel work on Rt65 and Beaver Street near Sewickley and Edgeworth.

I realize there has always been a ridiculous competitive spirit in Edgeworth to be better than everyone else … but now they are competing with PennDot. Go Figure!

Here is the main problems of the Edgeworth Road Crew competing with PennDOT:

1. They ALL WORKED …. the whole road crew worked.  If you are going to compete with PennDOT there are rules!!!

• At least six supervisors doing nothing. Edgworth appeared to only have one supervisor, actually supervising.
• Shovel leaners …… no less than 5.  Edgeworth had none.
• Only one laborer actually working …. Edgworth had at least 10 to 12 people actually working on the project.
• The path through the road construction should be clearly confusing to the point where you feel you are either going to go head in to another car or end up driving through a guard rail.  Edgeworth’s direction was well laid out.

Get the idea …… there are rules to this road work stuff.

What did they get right?  At least one thing:

• Obstructions – Edgeworth did well, and obviously learned from PennDOT in this area.  The main road work is around the elementary school and was started (good timing learned from PennDOT here) right when the school year started. Well done, this is where Edgworth gave PennDOT some competition in the way proper road construction is to be done.

As far as Rt65 in Pittsburgh …. that ramp is completed – but we, here at SWB still take the detour, as it doesn’t feel right in PA at any point to get a straight shot to where we are traveling without at least 20 minutes minimum of detours.

-SWB

The “Toyota Bomb”

The most popular question of the day:

“Do you think Toyota is being treated unfairly by our government?” … YES.

Why?

Because what is happening is something we try to make sure never happens in the corporate world, and is setting a precedent that could have some serious ramifications later in all corporate businesses.

And that is? ….. Conflict of interests. Really, really, big conflict of interests.

The U.S. government, because of the bailouts now effectively owns part of the U.S. car manufacturers (or at least some of them). That puts them in a very dangerous place where doing any regulation on the car manufacturers they do not own sets precedents to allow that to happen on a regular basis in real business.

This could set the scenario where an exec sits on one company and also on an another company selling or manufacturing like products allowing for price fixing, and monopolizing of an industry or product.

That happending could end up being a huge problem nobody in business wants, besides a few top controllers of the corporate world. It could also set the precedent of government control of businesses (and not in a good way).

What should be done with the Toyota issue?

There should have been a panel assembled of experts and representatives from the auto and safety industries from all countries where Toyota sells. They should have been the ones to review the Toyota recall issues and publish a decision and recommendations on those findings. All of the countries involved should have agreed to go by those published findings and decisions. This would have eliminated the conflict of interests legal issue our government has with handling this themselves.

The Toyota issue is not only hurting Toyota, it is hurting all auto sales from foreign companies, especially from Japan. Speaking to my father, who sells Honda, their sales are being hurt from this issue too. It’s helping the American companies, but way before they fix their own issues … and that’s another problem.

Think also, how many more people are employed in this country by companies like Toyota, Honda, etc. The good paying jobs and up being more numerous in those companies than in the American ones (I know this from how well Honda treats my father with bonuses, etc and how poorly I saw him treated when selling and working for the American car companies. I also have friends that worked for Chrysler, GM, etc and moved over to Toyota or Honda that are much happier now).

If the government messes up on this issue, it could end up hitting us even further in the economic groin … further rendering us useless as a financially powerful country.

We may want to think this one out a little further before putting a bullet in Toyota’s head, or we may end up dead from the ricochet. Issues like this are ones where you want to make sure you are thinking out how the resolutions you give will determine how that industry or business goes over the next five years, not just today or this month, etc.

Yes, Toyota needs to work on things like transparency …. but so do our companies. As they say “the one that has done no sin may throw the first stone.” I don’t think the U.S. is qualified to throw the first stone.

Well, since it is so deserving, SWB is handing out it’s frst never-ending clueless trophy. It’s good for as long as the U.S. Government is around, for as good as it is designed, the clueless will always be present within it.

The “Toyota Bomb” is ticking … will our government stop the show in time before it blows?

-SWB

PS – Our government needs to get back to governing. The people are quite capable of not buying Toyota’s if they don’t like them or don’t trust them.

Another exciting day

… and this is probably what quite a few other people are saying, as they are waiting for the cable guy to arrive.

I got to wait for the windshield replacement guy.

One part of me wanted him to not show, so that I did have to cut the check.  The other part of me wanted him to show up ASAP, so that I could quickly get on with my day.

He was on time … and I had to cut the check (no magical free windshield appeared on my lawn … the Man In The Sky didn’t leave me one (if ur not hip, that’s a reference to the movie “The Invention Of Lying”)).

Sorry for the delay in getting the post finished, in addition to all the other fun activities today, a few drops of coffee arched right into my Acer Aspire One keyboard, rendering it temporarily (or possibly permanently) useless.

What are ya gonna do, right?

So  found one for $16 on Ebay and ordered it … ironically the place that sells them is actually in Pittsburgh.  I’m in shock that I’m not getting ripped off for the part, but then again, maybe miracles actually happen.

-SWB

PS – Blah blah blah blah blah etc etc etc crap

This is it … life as you miss it

We all dream of the day when we get to sit on our rocking chairs and watch everyone else stress out and live life … or miss life.

Did you ever take the chance to stop and see what you have missed out on your quest for the golden rocking chair?

Think about it … gotta run to  get the cool job, gotta run to get the kids the hot toys, gotta run to get my boss his dry cleaning.  If you stop for a second, maybe you would realize you are actually on a planet. No … really, that thing you are walking on filled with dirt (and lots of unmentionables) is a planet.  Go visit the Carnegie Science Center … they’ll confirm it.  Honest.

Recently I rented the movie “The Invention Of  Lying“.  It was an interesting movie, because it showed humans as typical self-centered, selfish idiots – even when they didn’t know how to lie. It also showed how clueless and shallow people can be.

OK, it pointed out the high gullibility factor to us too.

The biggest thing it showed though, was how people can go a whole lifetime walking right by anything that matters … simply because that is how it’s always been done.  How many times do you do that yourself?  How many people do you know that have pretty much turned that way of life into a new kind of religion?

Think about it … maybe if we weren’t so “human” there wouldn’t be hatred, greed.  There would be jobs due to no outsourcing to save a buck.  People would be treated fairly, and their skin color, sex, or religion actually would not make a difference to anyone.

But then again, we are human … which makes “The Invention Of Lying” seem more like a documentary than a fictional movie.

-SWB

PS – I wish I were my dog.

Parking Meter People and The Fines They Give

Gotta love those parking meter people, they’re a special breed.

Only one type of person would hind behind a tree limb, under a car, behind a bush, etc … specifically to get a yellow envelope on your car as soon as you finish locking the door.

Besides the tax guy and lawyer in your local area, they might just be the most hated person in you community.

Why?

Because every time they see you the smile, say “Hi!”, and act like your best best friend just to take you off guard, right before firing off your newest parking fine.

*groan*

Well, I was in the local coffee shop today, when the lady and her daughter in front of me were complaining about a $5 parking fine because they didn’t have a quarter to put in the meter.

Now, I park in Pittsburgh when I go there, so to me $5 is a bargain – but in a smaller community that can be a big deal.  Fines aren’t the best way to bring customers back to the local stores. Now, you can’t expect much from very small economically hard hit communities, but you can expect a little from the more upper class ones on this issues.

This is the 20th century, so instead of a fine, you might consider:

Getting out of the ice age and installed something other than coin op meters – even some of the financially strapped communities have those.

At least install change machines … very few people carry cash, especially quarters – and no ATM dispenses change – AND the chances of someone getting change at a store before you tag their car is NIL.

Give the people 10 minutes before you tag them.  If you have coin op machines and they don’t come to your community that much, give the patrons time to find quarters for your machines.

If you have lots of local stores, drop the fine if the spend over $50 at your community’s stores.  Use the fine to punish the people that are parking negligently, but use the fine as tool to promote sales for those actually bringing income into your community.

Or better yet, just install something that takes credit cards and save everyone the heartache.

-SWB

PS – Above are common sense ideas on how to solve the parking fine issue … which means the will never happen.