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Archive for the ‘Thoughts For The Strange’ Category

We do the things that we do

September 15, 2016 Leave a comment

ThoughtsForTheStrangeWe do the things we do, because we do the things we do.

The things that make us happy, the things that make us sad.

Working away the blues that do, adding to the regrets that been done.

Listening away at the last minutes of today wishing it were less of a fray.

hmmmm …. a bucket of fried chicken would be good now.

… add dog on porch, get country song.

-SWB

The Mascot, The Poodle, Stereotypes, and the quest for readership

September 13, 2016 Leave a comment

brandycmYou guessed it … it had to happen … one of the pets of a SWB writer became the mascot.

Was this because of the old, wise-dog look of an 8.5 year old pup?

No.

Was it because she did something terrible, like eating the toy poodle sitting next to her and we’re trying to clear her name?

Possibly.

Here’s the truth … we’ll stoop as low as possible to get readership … as most blog owners will. It’s just reality. When you are competing against tens of thousands of other writers than can’t write, along with another ten thousand legitimate journalists with blogs, resorting to a pic of a cute pup enjoying the day at an outdoor coffee shop works …

at least with the women (yes, that was a sexist statement … we know it … but it’s true, so we’re still using it). We couldn’t find a football to stick next to the dog, so we know the guys will care less about the post (stereotypes are our thing).

No we didn’t feed the dog coffee, well … at least we didn’t until she held the poodle hostage.

Hmm …. actually, maybe we should have let her keep the poodle as a hostage as leverage to see if we could get her signed as the mascot for the Riverhounds (oh wait … they don’t make enough money yet). Maybe we can get a deal with the Steelers … on the other hand, they already have a dog (Ben).

We need a sports team that wants a mascot so I can make a ton of money off the last few years of this animal, buy a new house, and stop writing this crap.

Maybe the Pirates (they’re resembling a country dog now …. lay on porch, do nothing).

… or the Penguins (wait …. I can’t pick on them – Mario only lives a mile from where I’m writing this, and he’s bigger than I am).

Dreams.

Yes … she ate the poodle – said it tasted like cat hair.

-SWB

P.S. We hope you enjoyed the mindless sanctuary your brain went into when you were reading this – it will help your therapist enjoy your next session.

P.S. P.S. PLEASE tell your friends you actually read this garbage … the more people we dumb down, the smarter our blog looks 🙂   Cool, huh? Modern marketing at work.

Out Of A Coma

September 17, 2012 Leave a comment

We’re back …. or at least out of a coma.

Slightly after our little stint of “help” from the folks at Sophisticated Pittsburgh on upping our number of blog writers, they in fact lost many of theirs.  In other words people got real jobs, go married, or just disappeared of the face of the earth at SP.  As a result, we are coming back to our original self.

So, about our original self. The blog experimentally started in 2005, and was moved to .mac via the Apple iWeb.  We started writing around the time that PittGirl, CafeWitness, and others started and gained one of the top growing blog rankings ending up with 2000 readers per day, across 15 countries while on the .mac site.

That actually scared us, considering the amount of vomit we spewed out in those days along with the other rant blogs.  I’m not sure we’ll be as harsh these days, but we’ll try.

BTW – while we were hosting on .mac, Apple kindly asked us to move our site due to their product not being originally made for the amount of throughput we were getting.

So, around Spring of 2008 we moved to WordPress.

The Weasel is back, and we will be blowing word chunks as far as possible.

Cheers

-SWB

Hearing Voices

June 7, 2011 Leave a comment

In A quote (we cropped the it for our use) from WPXI onTwitter, the following was said:

“Monaca To Test Voice Warning System: Monaca residents will be hearing voices around noon…”

OK, ummmm ……..

Maybe Dr Phil can help?

…. oops, sorry – wrong network.

-SWB

We Got It Backwards

January 27, 2011 Leave a comment

does this look right???

Ok, let’s give you a better pic of the situation:  The picture is of one of the warmer days in January.  Notice the lack on sun.  The last time the sun came out, it was in the single digits.  Even in Pittsburgh we get the weather backwards!

Pittsburgh winter weather summary: SUN = COLD, CLOUDY = WARM

Actually we’re pretty sure this weather situation is actually controlled by those old weather guys that were traded in for the newer, sharp-looking, fancy weather people.  We investigating at this point, but we feel we’ll prove that those old weather guys are ticked and disgruntled about not getting enough TV time and they’re taking out on the residents of this city by employing some of the technologies that the military discovered in WWII from weather control experiments.

Yep, they told us all those tests were a farce, and didn’t work.  SWB’s theory is that the weather forecasters of yesteryear bought that weather control technology from the military to use for their own gain in job security – and just to mess with people.  Since Pittsburgh basically started broadcast TV, we’re just the testing zone.

…. and then again it could be the pharmaceutical companies using the weather to trigger a city-wide depression to up their drug sales getting the stock holders higher dividends.

If you have a good conspiracy theory as to why the weather generally sucks in this city, print this blog entry out and write it on the bottom of the page:

-SWB

 

Karyon Nightly

Hello SWB readers, I’d like to introduce myself.  My name is Karyon Nightly, one of the writers for the website http://www.sophisticatedpittsburgh.com.  Since we are taking control of SWB, I wanted to let you in on what we are planning on doing to move the site into something that can accompany S.P. as a blog.  SWB has a strong sarcastic and cynical side to it as most of the rant blogs did that started out around the mid 2000’s.  SWB will be that part of S.P. for those little sarcastic articles that we want to have fun with, but may not want to publish on the main site.  Here is what we are planning so far (there are many minds at work, so this may change from time to time):

  • We will be deleting any blog entries from SWB that may have too strong of an opinion, or quite frankly don’t any longer apply to issues in the city.
  • We will be toning down the sarcasm and strong opinions – we are not censoring, but challenging our writers to be as effective as SWB was, but with more creativity and good writing.
  • Although sarcastic, cynical, and a little ranty … we want to try to make our articles readable by all Pittsburghers and outsiders.

Keep in mind, just because we are making SWB a little nicer to fit in with Sophisticated Pittsburgh, that doesn’t mean if you deserve a slap to the face we won’t give it anymore.

We’ll still cover things like Pittsburgh politics, The Steelers, The penguins, enjoyable moments from the council, the Strip District, the wonderful roads, etc, etc.

more later ….

Thanks

-Karyon

 

Changes To SWB

January 24, 2011 2 comments

Our New Owners

Yup, we being taken over.

This is for the good.  After being inactive for a while, another site has inquired about taking over Screaming Weasel.  There will be changes, it will retain some of  the sarcasm, but will lose some of the “rantiness”  and negativity that it had when it started around 2005-2006 and rant blogs were the fad – although we will gripe a little through it,  and SWB will be the occasional guest writer.

We think you’ll like it … and what it will present about Pittsburgh.

If you want to check out our new owners, Click Here

Here is their future WordPress Blog (Click Here)

Please welcome Karyon Nightly (sophisticatedpgh) as  the new main writer.

-SWB