Exhausted

“Exhausted” (c)Lawrence A Capozzolo

Exhausted this time,
tired of waiting in line.

Extended beyond needs,
no life left to do deeds,

Exhausted this time,
the only thing left – a stupid rhyme.

Typing out the words,
that everyone has already heard.

Exhausted in time,
why lie?

-SWB

…… back to our really bad poetry series 🙂

A Beer’s Lament

“IC Shadow” (c)Lawrence A Capozzolo

A beer’s lament,
a passion unkept.

Smoke up a tube,
mash boiling in June,

A tongue tied in a bun,
tasting no longer fun.

A beer’s lament,
a passion toyed.

Shadowed from light,
it seems no longer right.

-SWB … celebrating bad poetry n brews.

Night Light

Bad Animal Poetry Division

Night light, night bright,
the gopher’s going to eat my garden tonight.

Standing in the night light,
I see beady eyes bright.

A giggle I hear,
from under my house, through a little square.

Grinding of teeth,
prepping for a bite.

My award winning garden,
is going away tonight.

-SWB

… remember, we warned you it was bad poetry.

Screaming Weasel

Yep … that’s us!

A bit about “us” – since many have only been introduced to us recently, and nobody ever reads the “about” tab – and honestly, some time we just put things in it to be goofballs.

Most of the time it’s me, the author, Lawrence Capozzolo (signed SWB). An American, or Italian/German American, or mutt, or one of the people that’s paying a mortgage to house my step-daughter’s four furry critters (two dogs, a cat, and a rat). We’re pretty sure the animals had their lawyer get their names on the deed for the house too. They may have taken ours off at this point.

SWB started originally started in 2006 when I purchased my G4 iBook and it had iWeb on it. I made my first posting after I noticed a blog called That’s Church (I’m pretty sure that was still its title back then – but I’m getting old, and memories fade fast now … so I could be incorrect.) The person writing “That’s Church” eventually went on to write for Pittsburgh Magazine.  Although my blog become popular in about fifteen countries doing about 1.2 million hits a year, I chose getting back into I.T. work (I could have been smarter and went back to school for carpentry or plumbing or HVAC …. but NO, I stuck with I.T.) therefore still writing but not keeping it up eventually doing it professionally.

The blog was started, like others at the time as a rant blog (humorous rant). I figured people would find humor in the annoying blabberings of us tech types, and I was right. Now that I’m close to 50 (ok …. REALLY close) I’m getting back into writing for it and doing photography for it again (unless otherwise stated – those photos are really mine) basically because of ageism (tech is becoming like the NFL … if you didn’t get your first Ferrari right in the beginning, the youngin’s aren’t going to give you a chance to get one now … you’re too old to work in tech) I’m back to writing. I like doing it anyway.

I don’t know if I’ll get my numbers back up or if I’ll ever get a donation (but although I’m not a non-profit, please keep in mind I have to replace two cars, a furnace, and put a kid through university – so have a heart, consider donating).  Right now I do a little sound engineering work, etc – waiting to get back into tech if I ever do.  If I just end up writing, better yet.

Back to SWB. It will continue to be a showcase for humorous rant, really bad poetry, attempts at legitimate poetry, and whatever gets thrown into it. Some others may write for it (if they do you will know). If you like the writing, please like the posts or blog – if you really like it – follow, if you think I should put it into a book – donate. Remember, books still do things like enabling me to generate enough money to donate to others that love to do what writers love to do.

The photography is also part of the showcasing in SWB, I’ve been doing this since the age of 13 …. so 36 years. You’ll notice various formats (slide, digital, modified, etc). The other site I write for Pittsburgh By Mini Cam is designed to be for low-res photography.

Yes … we do on purpose write badly, strangely, and horrendously (this is different from “badly” as it indicates a “graduate” level of “bad”). We try to make you think by readings that make you feel that Scotty forgot to but a few brain atoms back into you after beaming you up.

We just have fun.

… and we do consider padded rooms to be ultra comfy posh places. The straight jackets are slightly annoying though – especially when you have to type with your teeth.

We are the late show, art gallery, literary short, stand up comedian, sitcom, political humorist, poetm, life loving, opinionated schmucked (buggered for the British folks) up oxygen breathing carbon based units that you will hopefully learn to as least like. If not, click the “like” button anyway – people lie all the time.

-Lawrence A Capozzolo

SWB – “making legimate writer groan in agony”

Let’s Talk Nature

“Lying Around” (c)Lawrence A Capozzolo

Let’s talk nature,
just lying around.

Let’s talk nature,
just sitting on the ground.

Let’s talk nature,
making all those weird sounds.

Let’s talk nature,
popping up all those flowers.

Let’s talk nature,

listening in on our secrets.

Let’s talk nature,
a windy thing is she.

Let’s talk nature,
her beats makin’ me dream.

Let’s talk nature,
the next top 40 record breaker.

-SWB

….. back to our bad poetry series (we haven’t done one in a while … then again, opinions vary about that).

For Safety’s Sake

A Series

SWB Series: Really Bad Poetry

For safety’s sake,
don’t step on that rake,
you’ll look like a fake.

For safety’s sake,
don’t jump in the water,
the lifeguards don’t bother.

For safety’s sake,
don’t run in the street,
you’ll be a crow’s treat.

For safety’s sake,
don’t scream out load,
people will think your a clown.

For safety’s sake,
listen to your mother.

-SWB
“Poetry screaming of negative quality”

 

Exit

“Exit Today” (c)Lawrence A Capozzolo

Exit,
a favorite past-time,

End,
a way out.

Stop,
to the beginning.

Exit,
from the start.

-SWB

…. back to the pad poetry series 🙂

Snowy Pine

“Snowy Pine” (c)Lawrence A Capozzolo

Snowy pine,
how cold and sublime.

The sun is out and be told,
this extended cold is getting old.

The delicate white floating into sight,
tests my might to keep the positive in life.

Cold covered branches,
would be warmed with nice hot matches.

This snowy bliss is crap,
i consider to be much amiss.

Snow pine,
in no way do I claim you as mine.

-SWB

Bad poetry of the day, and an ode to Phil’s prediction of the extended winter we experienced this year.

The message

I left a message …

did you get it?

-SWB

… entered for the world’s worst and shortest writing.

Frozen Ponds

“Core of a Cold Heart” (c)Lawrence A Capozzolo

Frozen ponds,
frozen hearts.

Many lies,
from days gone by.

A smile once worn, fades away,
once thinking it would stay.

Many needs, many wants,
on the hunt for a lost dream.

Walking frozen, cold as can be,
the warmth drying up inside of me.

A world that once was a place of the sun,
has been made devoid of any fun.

Friends of the past, frozen in that place,
almost now seem like a complete waste.

Rivers of thought now end in white crystals,
the only thing heard is a faint distant whistle.

A mini ice-age has come to town.

-SWB

The latest in our series of poetry from people who have absolutely no business in writing it.

Pretty bleak, huh?

Well, I’m doing my best to paint a picture of how many people see the world now (or how we’re feeling in Pittsburgh when it’s Spring, and there’s still ****** frost on the car in the morning … not sure which). Of course I could just be getting in touch with my inner-Poe.

I’ve always found darker poetry interesting because it can indicted one of three things: 1. You are crying out for help because you are depressed and hiding it (basically in a dark work where nobody cares anyway) , 2. You are getting useless destructive emotional crap out of your system so you can function as a normal person, 3. You’re a technical person … in which you are just documenting the fact that for you getting anywhere near normal is just a useless attempt at avoiding a nice comfy padded room, which is your destiny most likely in the near future.

…. a little bit of sarcasm there, maybe.

Writing does have therapeutic value – which is why the healthcare industry hates it. Stress is very lucrative. It incites depression and a multitude of other profitable health issues.

Imagine if we all wrote (and maybe found a few suckers to pay for the stuff) de-stressing us enough to very rarely be sick. I mean to a point where everyone’s blood pressure is down to perfect, heart disease disappears, our immune systems function top-notch and naturally rid our bodies of cancer and other diseases. Wow!!

Now think of what that would do to the economy. Tragic!

Your doctor friend down the street would lose his job, and have to take back his BMW.

Your BFF that works as the pharmacist at the local Big Bird store gets moved to cashier in the grocery department losing a ton of pay and has to take back her BMW.

The next down neighbor who sells the blood pressure meds and chemo supplies to the hospitals that over-charge for them loses his job and has to take back his and his wife’s BMWs too (he sold a lot of stuff so they could afford two).

Just because of you …. inspiring people to write and de-stress (instead of getting them to de-stress in a way that get them some kind of transmittable disease), BMW has now gone out of business. As the iconic status has disappeared, people are even less stressed because they don’t have to work ninety hours a week to afford their BMW to indicate that they made it in the world, and now have even more time to write, de-stressing them more and more.  An abumdance of medical issues fade away, and more jobs are lost.

People eventually are no longer sick, and the worldwide economy collapses … people go back to living in huts and caves realizing they are completely happy without any economy.

All because of you ….. a writer that inspired many to de-stress through words.

How dare you!

-SWB

A first … a really crappy poem paired with a really crappy mini-essay/commentary (or whatever you are calling it at this time). Did we do well?

 

Strange on the road

“Stagger Street” (c)Lawrence A Capozzolo

Along the road enjoying the view,
askew I stagger a bit.

The peds look strange at me,
like they’ve seen a deformed, mutated bee.

I wish I could tell them it’s only I,
oh … I wish, I wish, I wish I could see.

Guys in black with pretty silver plaques,
follow me now, saying they need to take me back.

“Where”, I say, “I’d really like to stay”,
my words failing to keep them at bay.

A trip, a blip, and ooodly-bop,
the sound my brain makes before it goes “pop”.

I missed missing a big dark thing with a bright light at the top,
maybe that wasn’t my brain going “pop”.

Oh …. that’s the taser bringing the white light,
from the guys in black trying to make me drop.

I guess they succeeded,
i just wish they would get the spinning city to stop.

-SWB

From our really bad poetry series – a wonderful poem about a typical day on Grandview Avenue in Pittsburgh :-).

… an no I’m not glorifying drinking, I just write the dumbest thing I can think of about the pic in the posting and proceed to write award-winning poetry (although opinions about the award wining poetry bit may differ).

At the shore and more

“The Shore” (c)Lawrence A Capozzolo

Eating my food,
enjoying the outside crappy mood.

No fish jumping,
no music pumping.

This life before summer,
it’s really a bummer.

… a quick crappy poem of the day – tell us if we’re getting worse (efforts are being made to improve the horrendousness of our poetry).

-SWB

Waiting for my coffee

“Coffee Shop” (c) Lawrence A Capozzolo

Waiting for my coffee,
i haven’t ordered it, but they should know.

Listening for anyone,
nobody has taken my order.

Maybe they don’t like me,
but I don’t seem that bad.

Not sure what the issue is,
i still don’t have my coffee.

No respect anymore,
it’s just easier to ignore.

The sun is shining in the window on my head,
hopefully it won’t turn red.

Someone noticed me!
“if you aren’t going to order something get the **** out!”.

Maybe I should have stayed in bed,
doesn’t anyone read minds anymore?!?!?!?

-SWB

Another in our bad poetry series … enjoy, or not.

BTW … the shot is the actually coffee shop I write in mostly – Crazy Mocha.  Excellent people and service – so check it out if you are in Sewickley, PA. Tell them that Screaming Weasel sent you. It won’t get you free coffee or a better price … but it will get you a very strange look.

Tying down progress

“Tying me down” (c) Lawrence A Capozzolo

Did you every find yourself typing down progress – your own, I mean?

This doesn’t mean getting married, or getting a pet, or buying a car, etc. It means putting yourself in a position where growth isn’t possible because opportunity has been eliminated.

How do I mean eliminating opportunity? Well, several ways – one for instance is taking that minimum wage job right after college to pay for the student loads and then never being able to get days off for job interviews. Another is would be over scheduling your education where you can never get time off to work an internship, or network. I’m sure you can think of a ton of things in your head.

This seems to be because many have lost basic skills such as time management. I see so many people who has over-scheduled lives as children doing the same thing as adults. It’s very interesting seeing people come in late for appointments, not because they ran into traffic, or had an expected personal issue come up … but, because they were never taught to do something as simple as accounting for a forty-five minute drive time between a doctors appointment and a lunch meeting, etc.

Doesn’t seem like much, right?

Not really … good time management gets stress out of your life, along with possibly getting you that new job, promotion, or extra quality time with family.

Time management can be key to making you feel like you have a life – and thoroughly remove the necessity for buzz phrases like “work life balance”.

Here are a few cool links about time management:

• https://www.themuse.com/advice/7-time-management-tricks-that-keep-expert-multitaskers-sane
• https://www.entrepreneur.com/slideshow/299323
• https://www.inc.com/john-rampton/nothing-will-change-without-time-management-heres-.html

Now …. for a really bad poem about time:

Time
… I thought it was all mine.
Time
… It never made me a dime.
Time
… All it does is make me whine.
Time
… it’s totally blown my mind.

and so on, and so on ……

hmmm … maybe that’s a really bad song.

well, leave it up to a tech guy to mess up a bad poem into a bad song.

-SWB

A Really Big Tree

“Really Big Tree” (c) L Capozzolo

It’s a tree …
a really big tree.

It’s got roots …
that grow low and slow.

It’s a tree …
a really big tree.

It’s white ‘n gray ‘n stuff …
and it’s got no fluff.

It’s a tree …
a really big tree.

It’s got no leaves …
and it’s full of bees.

It’s a tree …
a really big tree.

It’s nesting a bird …
a big fluffy nerd.

It’s a tree …
a really big tree.

It’s going to fall to the ground …
and make noise all around.

It’s a tree …
a really big tree.

-SWB

Contender for the worst poem ever … or the next top 40 song that will make me a million or so (someone got some beats for this?)