Screaming Weasel

Yep … that’s us!

A bit about “us” – since many have only been introduced to us recently, and nobody ever reads the “about” tab – and honestly, some time we just put things in it to be goofballs.

Most of the time it’s me, the author, Lawrence Capozzolo (signed SWB). An American, or Italian/German American, or mutt, or one of the people that’s paying a mortgage to house my step-daughter’s four furry critters (two dogs, a cat, and a rat). We’re pretty sure the animals had their lawyer get their names on the deed for the house too. They may have taken ours off at this point.

SWB started originally started in 2006 when I purchased my G4 iBook and it had iWeb on it. I made my first posting after I noticed a blog called That’s Church (I’m pretty sure that was still its title back then – but I’m getting old, and memories fade fast now … so I could be incorrect.) The person writing “That’s Church” eventually went on to write for Pittsburgh Magazine.  Although my blog become popular in about fifteen countries doing about 1.2 million hits a year, I chose getting back into I.T. work (I could have been smarter and went back to school for carpentry or plumbing or HVAC …. but NO, I stuck with I.T.) therefore still writing but not keeping it up eventually doing it professionally.

The blog was started, like others at the time as a rant blog (humorous rant). I figured people would find humor in the annoying blabberings of us tech types, and I was right. Now that I’m close to 50 (ok …. REALLY close) I’m getting back into writing for it and doing photography for it again (unless otherwise stated – those photos are really mine) basically because of ageism (tech is becoming like the NFL … if you didn’t get your first Ferrari right in the beginning, the youngin’s aren’t going to give you a chance to get one now … you’re too old to work in tech) I’m back to writing. I like doing it anyway.

I don’t know if I’ll get my numbers back up or if I’ll ever get a donation (but although I’m not a non-profit, please keep in mind I have to replace two cars, a furnace, and put a kid through university – so have a heart, consider donating).  Right now I do a little sound engineering work, etc – waiting to get back into tech if I ever do.  If I just end up writing, better yet.

Back to SWB. It will continue to be a showcase for humorous rant, really bad poetry, attempts at legitimate poetry, and whatever gets thrown into it. Some others may write for it (if they do you will know). If you like the writing, please like the posts or blog – if you really like it – follow, if you think I should put it into a book – donate. Remember, books still do things like enabling me to generate enough money to donate to others that love to do what writers love to do.

The photography is also part of the showcasing in SWB, I’ve been doing this since the age of 13 …. so 36 years. You’ll notice various formats (slide, digital, modified, etc). The other site I write for Pittsburgh By Mini Cam is designed to be for low-res photography.

Yes … we do on purpose write badly, strangely, and horrendously (this is different from “badly” as it indicates a “graduate” level of “bad”). We try to make you think by readings that make you feel that Scotty forgot to but a few brain atoms back into you after beaming you up.

We just have fun.

… and we do consider padded rooms to be ultra comfy posh places. The straight jackets are slightly annoying though – especially when you have to type with your teeth.

We are the late show, art gallery, literary short, stand up comedian, sitcom, political humorist, poetm, life loving, opinionated schmucked (buggered for the British folks) up oxygen breathing carbon based units that you will hopefully learn to as least like. If not, click the “like” button anyway – people lie all the time.

-Lawrence A Capozzolo

SWB – “making legimate writer groan in agony”

I Should be Happy

Another Blah Post

SWB Series: Blah Blah Blah

Actually I am …. but nobody reads a post about someone that’s happy. It’s just way too irritating – ESPECIALLY before coffee.

Oh, just SKIP the addiction speech too. Coffee is NOT a drug, get it? Even if I was addicted I’d never admit it to you. You’re too damn perky at 6am.

I know your looking at me and in your head saying “Sure … he’s happy. As happy as a fox caught in a trap after being chased by a blue-tick hound”. (If you know where part of that sentence was from, you’re old – and possibly have a Confederate flag on your car).

Well, guess what – I AM. I’m so flipping happy flowers a blooming as I skip down the sidewalk. The bees are following right behind the flowers and starting to sting the crap out of me … but I’m still happy – it’s nature, right?

I should be happy … I keep telling people I am, they never believe me, they’re just a confused lot. I’ve put my smiling mug on Friendface (if you know what this is you’re a hopeless nerd) – doesn’t that mean I’m happy, if I’m smiling on Friendface?

I am happy I Am Happy I Am Happy I Am Ha …………..

Wait ….. 20oz medium rare steak – now I m REALLY happy.

🙂

-SWB

If ANY of this made ANY sense to you at all, even in the most smallest of ways – please seek professional help, and I’m not talking depression – you’re just messed up if this made any sense at all.

 

 

Grey

“Grey At Best” (c)Lawrence A Capozzolo

Grey at best,
looking up at the sky.

A bird of prey,
getting along its way.

To be my day,
heading to this off-white mess.

I look up,
grey at best.

-SWB

Poetic rant about a beautiful cloudy grey day.

A Senseless Day

What is a senseless day to SWB?

Today.

The sun is out.  The air is cool. Everyone seems happy. The only real irritating news is of the 10th street bypass having construction near it soon, and that’s not really even irritating because we are so used to it. There is nothing to whine or rant about today.  that really sucks for this blog.

The only thing we can rant about is not being able to rant.

We’re even too used to potholes to care about that much anymore.

The politicians are all the same, so if we rant about one we automatically rant about the others in the same exact way, which nullifies any of our rant enough for anyone to actually really give a crap about it.

The rivers are flowing good, so we can’t even complain about stagnant water, or dead and decaying fish.

……… HELP US HERE!!!!!

-SWB (a frustrated weasel on a too nice of a day)

 

Life is good …

Well … the snow is going away, my car is now legal to drive, I have two dogs staring at me while I’m writing this …

Life is good.  I’m broke from the cost of the inspection, but life is good.

I figure if I keep saying that enough …

Anyway … another day of late blogging because there is no wi-fi near the dealership.  It’s in the South Hills, so there are no hip coffee houses to go to.  I guess not every town can be “cool”.

So, SWB is left to late, caffeine-less, lame posting because my brain only works from about 9am to 3pm … considering the experts say your brain starts deteriorating around the age of 27, I’m quite happy mine works at all … although some people do have an opinion about that.

-SWB

PS – Only two more days in the week to get Dunkin’ Donuts from the Pittsburgh store … I could get a little edgy.  Beware. If you see me driving behind you with a determined “I have to get to Dunkin'” look, just let me pass …

The World Has Returned To Normal

Is it proper to title a post during the natural disasters that are happening (the earthquakes in both Chile and Haiti and the Tsunami in Chile, etc)?

Yep, definitely (and NO, we are NOT poking fun at any places like Haiti and Chile.  Actually we ask you to help Chile where you can, but don’t go into fad mode and forget Haiti … Chile is a little better off financially.)

So, why are we making a title like “The World Has Returned To Normal”?

Well, that’s because this is one of the FIRST days in about a month where you don’t have a scrolling line at the bottom of your TV with school delays and cancellations that takes 45 minutes to run through. If you are a parent (or step-parent for that matter), you know that you don’t get to return to the “real world” until the kids turns 18 … or you have the guts to kick them out of the house (which could be much later in life for some parents). So, having the kiddies home so much gets you into a mode where the things happening on the news seem more like a reality show than reality.

At this point this kids are even tired of being home, bosses are tired of people not showing up, and even with free speech … we can’t print what the parents are saying. I love snow, but this was a bit much.

So, the world has returned to normal for a while … but then again St Patrick’s day is coming up, so we’ll probably get dumped on with 36 inches during the parade … which will turn green.

Here is an idea for a great back to school after school activity for you and your kids … teach them how great it is to take a bit of their allowance and donate it to Haiti and Chile to help them out.

BTW – We want to shout out a kudos to Chile for having good building codes in place … that in itself probably saved thousands if not hundreds of thousands.  Pray that Haiti is someday in the same place where it can do that for itself.

-SWB

PS – I bet the  school bus drivers aren’t happy 😉

Life On The Toilet

Don’t worry, we won’t be THAT descriptive here … and I’m not writing this while on the throne (or am I? … imagine whatever floats your boat).

“Life On The Toilet” … yep, I think that’s going to be  the title of the book I’m going to write. Sort of like “Life In A Cube”, but you don’t have to deal with everyone else’s crap – just yours.

Sound familiar?

If it does, you either have a really bad job, or you just got tired of reaming everyone else for their issues.  Unfortunately, immediately after doing that you now realize how long your poo has been festering in the commode you’ve forgotten to flush because you were too busy plunging other people’s future garden fertilizer.

Does this post mean that I’ve discovered some life altering realization that will cause this blog to go soft with warm fuzzies and happy stories about bunnies?

Absolutely not!! (You can breath a sign of relief now).

I will still reach out and take a bite of people and things (including bunnies) with my creative and professional word play … no backing down from people there.

So why did I write this entry?

I just wanted to creatively write something using the word “toilet”.

That’s it … absolutely no other use for the post.

-SWB

PS – @$#$@!, running low on T.P.