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Archive for the ‘nonsense and such’ Category

Out Of A Coma

September 17, 2012 Leave a comment

We’re back …. or at least out of a coma.

Slightly after our little stint of “help” from the folks at Sophisticated Pittsburgh on upping our number of blog writers, they in fact lost many of theirs.  In other words people got real jobs, go married, or just disappeared of the face of the earth at SP.  As a result, we are coming back to our original self.

So, about our original self. The blog experimentally started in 2005, and was moved to .mac via the Apple iWeb.  We started writing around the time that PittGirl, CafeWitness, and others started and gained one of the top growing blog rankings ending up with 2000 readers per day, across 15 countries while on the .mac site.

That actually scared us, considering the amount of vomit we spewed out in those days along with the other rant blogs.  I’m not sure we’ll be as harsh these days, but we’ll try.

BTW – while we were hosting on .mac, Apple kindly asked us to move our site due to their product not being originally made for the amount of throughput we were getting.

So, around Spring of 2008 we moved to WordPress.

The Weasel is back, and we will be blowing word chunks as far as possible.

Cheers

-SWB

Karyon Nightly

Hello SWB readers, I’d like to introduce myself.  My name is Karyon Nightly, one of the writers for the website http://www.sophisticatedpittsburgh.com.  Since we are taking control of SWB, I wanted to let you in on what we are planning on doing to move the site into something that can accompany S.P. as a blog.  SWB has a strong sarcastic and cynical side to it as most of the rant blogs did that started out around the mid 2000’s.  SWB will be that part of S.P. for those little sarcastic articles that we want to have fun with, but may not want to publish on the main site.  Here is what we are planning so far (there are many minds at work, so this may change from time to time):

  • We will be deleting any blog entries from SWB that may have too strong of an opinion, or quite frankly don’t any longer apply to issues in the city.
  • We will be toning down the sarcasm and strong opinions – we are not censoring, but challenging our writers to be as effective as SWB was, but with more creativity and good writing.
  • Although sarcastic, cynical, and a little ranty … we want to try to make our articles readable by all Pittsburghers and outsiders.

Keep in mind, just because we are making SWB a little nicer to fit in with Sophisticated Pittsburgh, that doesn’t mean if you deserve a slap to the face we won’t give it anymore.

We’ll still cover things like Pittsburgh politics, The Steelers, The penguins, enjoyable moments from the council, the Strip District, the wonderful roads, etc, etc.

more later ….

Thanks

-Karyon

 

Changes To SWB

January 24, 2011 2 comments

Our New Owners

Yup, we being taken over.

This is for the good.  After being inactive for a while, another site has inquired about taking over Screaming Weasel.  There will be changes, it will retain some of  the sarcasm, but will lose some of the “rantiness”  and negativity that it had when it started around 2005-2006 and rant blogs were the fad – although we will gripe a little through it,  and SWB will be the occasional guest writer.

We think you’ll like it … and what it will present about Pittsburgh.

If you want to check out our new owners, Click Here

Here is their future WordPress Blog (Click Here)

Please welcome Karyon Nightly (sophisticatedpgh) as  the new main writer.

-SWB

The Asphalt Garden

April 9, 2010 Leave a comment

Asphalt is really full of tiny miniature gardens that continually regrow after being run over relentlessly by the big rolling rubber beasts.

Your garden is really a parking space for bugs, mice, and rats.

If you cultivate your imagination, you can skip paying your utility bills and they will still all work.

Your pet goldfish really is talking to you, but your just not smart enough to understand it.

Dogs really do love mailmen … but it’s a different kind of love.

Life is reality, and reality is life … but imagination is the reality of reality.

Opinions are only opinions of someone disagrees with them.  If you agree with your own opinions they are null.

A blank mind is a good mind – hollow places are good for creating sound effects.

A river flows down because the sewage pumps are too weak to push it up.

Human organs created with an inkjet printers only have a 10 year lightfast rating. (search that one on the net – they do that now).

Fishing with your kids is nice and relaxing … especially if you leave them on shore.

When the tulips bloom red, it’s time to make your bed. (this came up during a brief jump into sanity)

Drag racing your Mini Cooper makes everyone else look really cool.

Things happen, stuff happens, %^%# doesn’t happen – it’s made.

Make something creative and the world will follow you hoping they get chosen as extras for your reality show.

How do you know the movies aren’t really reality, and your life is just a result of you not affording good writers?

-SWB

PS – If this all makes sense to you, we have references for good doctors.

Winking In The Wind

March 24, 2010 Leave a comment

… the title of the 2010 sequel to “Gone With The Wind”.

Alright, no, not really … but maybe if we had a “sit down” with a few of the big 3 network execs.

So what is “Winking In The Wind”?

We just made it up, so at this point it’s basically total babble.

Then again, it could be exactly what a bird does just before it plows itself into your high rise office building window.

-or-

What your dog does constantly when you are driving your car over 60 as it’s hanging it’s head out the window (that’s besides drooling all over the side of your car)

-or-

What your husband says he did while glancing at the hot babe walking down the street … and probably what he did right after you smacked him for looking.

-or-

What the nice happy driver that just passed you did to show how friendly he was.

-or-

What the politician did to the intern.

-or-

Wait … I don’t think we can print that here.

-or-

What your newborn did right after you removed it’s diaper.

-SWB

PS – Just more senseless thoughts for the strange that will hopefully invade and corrupt the stable minds of the world.

More Blah Blah Blah … but mildly sunny

March 19, 2010 Leave a comment

Did you ever wonder what a politician is … I mean, besides the description we probably can’t print even in our blog. Well, if you click on the word, it’ll give you the wiki definition.

Basically, it’s someone that is influential in the decisions of the public. You can usually spot them by the pockets full of gift cards for bribe making (using money is illegal now, so they’re being creative … most likely you’ll get a Bed Bath and Beyond card if you having a decision that needs influencing).

Now, I’m not sure how people went from being true politicians (people that actually influence public decision making without bribes or bribing), but I assume it’s because of food.

Why?

Well, how can you say “no” to someone who sticks a fat juicy steak in front of you with all of the fixings (maybe a Morning Star version for those non-meat eaters)?

I can imaging the conversation:

(before dinner)

“Well, I want to get a ‘yes’ decision on hanging offenders for stealing baked goods.”

Poltician – “We can’t possibly do that, it’s just immoral and unethical, not to mention insane!”

(after dinner – premium steak, fresh baked goods, the best wines)

“Just to make sure, can we possibly get you to reconsider allowing us to hang offenders that steal baked goods?”

Politician – “Sure … but we need make sure they are dropped from high enough that their neck breaks instantly so it’s humane.”

See … that’s where politician’s first dropped from grace and ended up in the bribe infested world they are now in … all because of food.

-SWB

PS – I guess everyone falls short somewhere.

Pittsburgh Dreary

March 1, 2010 Leave a comment

The Strip on a Dreary Day – click the pic to go to our Flikr low res camera photo stream.

Nothin’ like a typical Pittsburgh dreary day to make you feel like you’ve moved to London … at least that what the people from London living in Pittsburgh tell me.

Maybe we should change out unofficial city motto from “Partly Cloudy” to “Partly Dreary”.  I mean, were not like some other places with so little daylight that people are waiting in line atop of tall building to jump to their death … we just have people with constant “hangdog” looks to them.

Unfortunately makeup doesn’t help that a bit.

I’m old, so it’s even worse.

Pittsburgh adds a uniqueness to “dreary”. We create some fairly good dark poets, have produced (and sometimes still do) some great industrial bands, and of course … we make heavy use of “the blues” here.

Although we got the dreary stuff back, I’m glad the snow melted (I finally found my dog).  I think she’s a little ticked we didn’t try to search for her a little harder. We lost her the day of the big snow storm. When we realized that, we opened the door to go look for her, but in the typicalness (is that even a word??) of the Pittsburgh dreary took hold … we took one step, didn’t see her … and just figured she’d come back at some time.

… don’t go runnin’ to call PETA, we didn’t actually do that.

-SWB

PS – It’s partly dreary ‘n at (yep, that sounds cool)