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Posts Tagged ‘pets’

The Mascot, The Poodle, Stereotypes, and the quest for readership

September 13, 2016 Leave a comment

brandycmYou guessed it … it had to happen … one of the pets of a SWB writer became the mascot.

Was this because of the old, wise-dog look of an 8.5 year old pup?

No.

Was it because she did something terrible, like eating the toy poodle sitting next to her and we’re trying to clear her name?

Possibly.

Here’s the truth … we’ll stoop as low as possible to get readership … as most blog owners will. It’s just reality. When you are competing against tens of thousands of other writers than can’t write, along with another ten thousand legitimate journalists with blogs, resorting to a pic of a cute pup enjoying the day at an outdoor coffee shop works …

at least with the women (yes, that was a sexist statement … we know it … but it’s true, so we’re still using it). We couldn’t find a football to stick next to the dog, so we know the guys will care less about the post (stereotypes are our thing).

No we didn’t feed the dog coffee, well … at least we didn’t until she held the poodle hostage.

Hmm …. actually, maybe we should have let her keep the poodle as a hostage as leverage to see if we could get her signed as the mascot for the Riverhounds (oh wait … they don’t make enough money yet). Maybe we can get a deal with the Steelers … on the other hand, they already have a dog (Ben).

We need a sports team that wants a mascot so I can make a ton of money off the last few years of this animal, buy a new house, and stop writing this crap.

Maybe the Pirates (they’re resembling a country dog now …. lay on porch, do nothing).

… or the Penguins (wait …. I can’t pick on them – Mario only lives a mile from where I’m writing this, and he’s bigger than I am).

Dreams.

Yes … she ate the poodle – said it tasted like cat hair.

-SWB

P.S. We hope you enjoyed the mindless sanctuary your brain went into when you were reading this – it will help your therapist enjoy your next session.

P.S. P.S. PLEASE tell your friends you actually read this garbage … the more people we dumb down, the smarter our blog looks 🙂   Cool, huh? Modern marketing at work.

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The Dumb, The Smart, and The Cute

April 3, 2009 Leave a comment

brandyday1You’ve seen this pic on a post before ….. it’s one of my pets. It’s not the smart one either (we’ll give you the humorous details in another post someday). My other dog is 90% basenji, which is the oldest known domesticated breed. She’s about as smart as a 1 1/2 year old child. She likes to bark at everyone through the windows, but will hide behind me if you walk up to us out in the open. The dog in the picture only barks if my basenji barks. Other than that she eats, sleeps, and pees (finally outside and not on the floor). Needless to say, she get classified as the “dumb” one. We have a cat too, she’s smart, but more or less get classified as “cute”. BTW – the brown one in the picture is a boxer-mix.

Why did I write about this, which is more of less useless information? Well, all of the animals mentioned were rescued in some way. Whether “dumb”, “smart”, or “cute” all pets need someone to care for them, especially the forgotten ones. Tippy, my basenji was acquired from a basenji/lab mix littler being given away at flea market. Brandy, our boxer mix was acquired will at PetSmart when we went for dog food (she was a stray that spent a month in a dog shelter). Skittles, my wife’s cat was acquired from a shelter also.

So with spring and Easter coming … your children will probably start asking for a cute, furry companion. Consider adopting or rescuing a pet. It gets them a home, out of a small confining cage, and you a pal for your children (and maybe yourself). Pet adoption also helps put the puppy and pet mills out of business.

Advice, though:

  • Pet adoption is not an “impulse buy” – think it out or you may mentally hurt the animal more that it already is.
  • When you are considering a pet, try to see if you can do that around allot of people. If the pet can get along with allot of people at once and not freak or be visibly scared – that’s a sign that the pet is stable.
  • Consider your financial situation when adopting a pet – if you can’t give it the basics, it’s not any better with you than at the shelter.

-SWB

PS – Weasels can be pets too …. albeit a little dirty and annoying.