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Posts Tagged ‘strange thoughts’

We do the things that we do

September 15, 2016 Leave a comment

ThoughtsForTheStrangeWe do the things we do, because we do the things we do.

The things that make us happy, the things that make us sad.

Working away the blues that do, adding to the regrets that been done.

Listening away at the last minutes of today wishing it were less of a fray.

hmmmm …. a bucket of fried chicken would be good now.

… add dog on porch, get country song.

-SWB

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Living life to it’s fullest

April 14, 2010 Leave a comment

Lot’s of self help books out there … lots.  Actually I plan on writing one.  I’m no expert at anything, but I can point out flaws and dictate “how to fix them” … and I’m going to need a new car in a few years, so writing a type of book that tends to attract tons of suckers should attract enough money to fund my new car.

Here’s the reality of it … I actually am an expert at self help.  Why?  I’m just as screwed up as everyone else … thus certifying me as an expert.

Keep in mind, if self help books were not needed, nor popular, that would indicate we are a perfect society that just loves each other – any we all know the reality of the current state of society.  So, when you purchase your next book on how to live life to it’s fullest, keep that in mind.

Taking that info into account, what should we really look at? Probably everything else but us.

Here are some ideas, observations, and advices:

  • Trees and plants … most of them just stay silent and grow.  They really don’t bother anyone.  Honestly, I’m glad they’re silent and don’t do much, because if they could state their opinion on humans … it probably wouldn’t be even remotely close to the level we rate ourselves.  If they could take action, we probably wouldn’t be here.
  • Pets … most of them are dumb and stupid, don’t care about anything but food, sleep, and the occasional poop.  Maybe we’re just too intelligent and really need to digress down to the level of Fido to get back with the program.
  • Maybe we need to look at the societies that have almost nothing in comparison to us. Naaaa … that means giving up Blackberrys and iPods.  Bad idea. I’m sure Mr. Jobs is trying to figure out how to make me disappear for even suggesting the idea of life without an iPod.
  • Could it be the fact that we try too hard to make life that we forget to enjoy it by just letting it happen? Then again bonuses don’t come with enjoyment of life. They come with triple shots of Expresso on an hourly basis.
  • A person once said that pain makes you realize that you are alive.  What crap were they on?? I need to feel pain to realize I’m alive, so I can life life to it’s fullest?? Did anyone ever take that seriously? Oh, wait … I just realized that’s what those $1500 ergonomic chairs are for in your cube – to keep you in just enough pain to keep you awake and drinking coffee.
  • Strange people … did anyone ever toss up the idea that they’re actually not strange and that maybe we’re the ones living in the “alternate world”?  Hmmm … maybe all the answers are in that guy in the park that performs opera for the geese.  He seems happy.
  • Maybe we need to look more deeply inside ourselves. Actually that’s just plain gross … isn’t bad enough that they now show blood, guts, and intestines on the CSI shows?  I’m not sure I want to look deep into myself and see my own.

Well, that’s it for “Thoughts For The Strange” advice on how to live life to it’s fullest.  Comment and leave your own advice if you can (or e-email for our PayPal info so you can preorder our self help book). We’ll need the new car to drive to someone that can print the book.  If it doesn’t show up in a few years, write a letter to somewhere in Jamaica asking us for a status … it should get to us.  Maybe.

PS – This advice was compiled by one expert.  No other experts will even come close to backing it up or even associating themselves with any of it. Actually, even the guy that wrote it won’t back it up … so hopefully you have enough sense to not really listen.

The Asphalt Garden

April 9, 2010 Leave a comment

Asphalt is really full of tiny miniature gardens that continually regrow after being run over relentlessly by the big rolling rubber beasts.

Your garden is really a parking space for bugs, mice, and rats.

If you cultivate your imagination, you can skip paying your utility bills and they will still all work.

Your pet goldfish really is talking to you, but your just not smart enough to understand it.

Dogs really do love mailmen … but it’s a different kind of love.

Life is reality, and reality is life … but imagination is the reality of reality.

Opinions are only opinions of someone disagrees with them.  If you agree with your own opinions they are null.

A blank mind is a good mind – hollow places are good for creating sound effects.

A river flows down because the sewage pumps are too weak to push it up.

Human organs created with an inkjet printers only have a 10 year lightfast rating. (search that one on the net – they do that now).

Fishing with your kids is nice and relaxing … especially if you leave them on shore.

When the tulips bloom red, it’s time to make your bed. (this came up during a brief jump into sanity)

Drag racing your Mini Cooper makes everyone else look really cool.

Things happen, stuff happens, %^%# doesn’t happen – it’s made.

Make something creative and the world will follow you hoping they get chosen as extras for your reality show.

How do you know the movies aren’t really reality, and your life is just a result of you not affording good writers?

-SWB

PS – If this all makes sense to you, we have references for good doctors.

Winking In The Wind

March 24, 2010 Leave a comment

… the title of the 2010 sequel to “Gone With The Wind”.

Alright, no, not really … but maybe if we had a “sit down” with a few of the big 3 network execs.

So what is “Winking In The Wind”?

We just made it up, so at this point it’s basically total babble.

Then again, it could be exactly what a bird does just before it plows itself into your high rise office building window.

-or-

What your dog does constantly when you are driving your car over 60 as it’s hanging it’s head out the window (that’s besides drooling all over the side of your car)

-or-

What your husband says he did while glancing at the hot babe walking down the street … and probably what he did right after you smacked him for looking.

-or-

What the nice happy driver that just passed you did to show how friendly he was.

-or-

What the politician did to the intern.

-or-

Wait … I don’t think we can print that here.

-or-

What your newborn did right after you removed it’s diaper.

-SWB

PS – Just more senseless thoughts for the strange that will hopefully invade and corrupt the stable minds of the world.