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The Mascot, The Poodle, Stereotypes, and the quest for readership

September 13, 2016 Leave a comment

brandycmYou guessed it … it had to happen … one of the pets of a SWB writer became the mascot.

Was this because of the old, wise-dog look of an 8.5 year old pup?

No.

Was it because she did something terrible, like eating the toy poodle sitting next to her and we’re trying to clear her name?

Possibly.

Here’s the truth … we’ll stoop as low as possible to get readership … as most blog owners will. It’s just reality. When you are competing against tens of thousands of other writers than can’t write, along with another ten thousand legitimate journalists with blogs, resorting to a pic of a cute pup enjoying the day at an outdoor coffee shop works …

at least with the women (yes, that was a sexist statement … we know it … but it’s true, so we’re still using it). We couldn’t find a football to stick next to the dog, so we know the guys will care less about the post (stereotypes are our thing).

No we didn’t feed the dog coffee, well … at least we didn’t until she held the poodle hostage.

Hmm …. actually, maybe we should have let her keep the poodle as a hostage as leverage to see if we could get her signed as the mascot for the Riverhounds (oh wait … they don’t make enough money yet). Maybe we can get a deal with the Steelers … on the other hand, they already have a dog (Ben).

We need a sports team that wants a mascot so I can make a ton of money off the last few years of this animal, buy a new house, and stop writing this crap.

Maybe the Pirates (they’re resembling a country dog now …. lay on porch, do nothing).

… or the Penguins (wait …. I can’t pick on them – Mario only lives a mile from where I’m writing this, and he’s bigger than I am).

Dreams.

Yes … she ate the poodle – said it tasted like cat hair.

-SWB

P.S. We hope you enjoyed the mindless sanctuary your brain went into when you were reading this – it will help your therapist enjoy your next session.

P.S. P.S. PLEASE tell your friends you actually read this garbage … the more people we dumb down, the smarter our blog looks 🙂   Cool, huh? Modern marketing at work.