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Utter Nonsense and Your Job

February 19, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments


‘Utter Nonsense and Such’ … a new series from SWB. Life experiences of mine in work and other areas that are Utterly Nonsense but possibly effective.

For my first one I go back to my life in semi-fast-food.

If you’ve worked in food services you know that managerial idiots are normally common and abundant. A former co-worker found a way to combat that: As other workers were being screamed at to do everything but what they were trained to do my friend would stand in view of the manager-in-heat and quitely stare at the knife he was ever so slowly sharpening. Now, I know he was completely sane – but the manager didn’t. Considering his work was way over top-notch, HR would not allow them to get rid of him. So …. while others (as I previously mentioned) were getting a blasting from the top management types, they would normally ask him in a quiet kind manner if he would consider doing something other than sharpening his knife. He usually didn’t respond, and they would just walk away – freeing up his time to actually do the work he was initially assigned for that day. He was the only one that really ever got his own work completed.

Now … for the clueless and lacking of common sense reading this blog posting … SWB is in no way telling you to sharpen a knife in an insane psychotic manner at your workplace (this was just a re-telling of my experience with a friend) … but be creative: talk to the voices inside your monitor in your cube, hold your pencil or pen in a constant death-grip, hang multiple paintings of ‘Matrix’ coding on your walls at work and write notes about them on a small pad while management looks on, water dead plants while talking to them like they are your pets, etc. People will leave you alone to get your work done, and treat you ever so much more nicely just out of the simple fear that you are slowly slipping away from reality. Think up something appropriate for your workplace, industry, and general surroundings that won’t get you put in jail or immediately fired. Remember – this is an exercise to make you life easier and give you a few minutes of comedy each day.


SWB Tip … remember to discern advice from anyone. If you are stupid enough to take stupid advice – your are just stupid. Nothing more.

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