Home > opinion, Random > Marriage ….. You’re Next! (and The Simpsons)

Marriage ….. You’re Next! (and The Simpsons)

November 13, 2008 Leave a comment Go to comments


Primitive Church – Cades Cove, TN

Well, as of November 8th, 2008 – I’m married. Needless to say, extremely happy about that. No – we weren’t married in the church above, but a small chapel that looked fairly close to it in Gatlinburg, TN. We’re from Pittsburgh – so why travel so far? For us it was the opportunity to start our lives in a peaceful, family environment that many people only hope to have some day in their marriages. This was very important to us to start in a way that secured a basis for the rest of our relationship ….. so when we ever have to deal with “issues” they are handled without distress. We have an 8 year old young lady in our family, so starting out in away that helps us out to be good examples was very important also. With that said, we did something different than many people did today – we went into our marriage based on our love for each other, and the fact that we trusted God, not us to match us up.

Things have changed over the years in relationships – so enough of the serious stuff, let’s look at the perks of marriage in this day in age as compared to the days when the church above may have flourished:

Olden Days: The wife cooked, cleaned, and popped out a kid every few years – along with taking care of her husband, etc. The husband was usually the only bread winner in the family – so the possible financial demise of the family solely rested on his shoulders. The father tended to be more strict financially, and the family generally more responsible.

Today: There is a good chance the wife has never seen a cook book, let alone actually learning how to cook from her mother. Cleaning may happen at the level of a Swiffer(r) or single sheet wet-mop. Financial responsibility is pretty much out the door (so for the neighbors there is usually good Jerry Springer level entertainment).

Olden Days: Since the wife did usually cook, there was a knife or rolling pin within her reach – which was one of the few things a husband had to fear (beside food poisoning from cooking that sat out too long).

Today: Many women take self-defense classes (Thanks Oprah), so a small knife or rolling pin are the least of a husband’s worries.

Olden Days: Women were submissive.

Today: Huh?

Olden Days: Kids listened to their parents and showed at least a little respect.

Today: “What Dad????, I can’t hear you over the ******* X-Box surround sound …… could you bother me later????”

Olden Days: Love was simple …… you spent the day holding hands while in rocking chairs on the porch.

Today: What the heck is a rocking chair?

Olden Days: Quality time just happened, you thanked God for the food and life you had.

Today: “Mom, this isn’t a Happy Meal …. it’s just food …… waaaaaaaaaaaa ……. God wanted me to have a Happy meal!!!!!! waaaaaaaaaa!!!!!”

Olden Days: You married because you actually loved each other …… divorce lawyers were poor.

Today: Many people married because their last night together woke up two city blocks ….. divorce lawyers now own 30 story buildings.

Olden Days: You based your family life by the Bible.

Today: “The Simpsons” and “Married With Children” are now considered documentaries.


Yup I’m married ……… my name gets change to Al or Homer next week.

Yup I’m married ……… it does get kept in a jar after your wedding night (see George Carlin references if you are confused on this one).

Yup I’m married ……… I can’t get past a half can of beer now.

Yup I’m married ……… you’re next 🙂

  1. No comments yet.
  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: