Home > opinion > New American Icon … The Hummer

New American Icon … The Hummer

Original Post Date: April 20 2006

This one was inspired. On the way to one of the coffee houses I like in Shadyside I had a “just ducky” experience with a Hummer. Now I really don’t have anything against the actual vehicle itself, it happens to be pretty well built. The issues I have are with the idiots in ‘em. While on my way to Shadyside I decided to stop in for gas. While getting ready to pull in to the station the Hummer (who had been riding my bumper all the way to the station) gassed it and pulled past me almost ripping the side off of my Civic. The guy flipped ME the finger, and actually screamed out the window “get that Japanese piece of **** out of the way of my American hummer”. Got news for ya guy —- allot of the parts in that “American” hummer were probably outsourced to ANOTHER COUNTRY or will be in the future. Allot of Civics are made in Ohio – or at least in America. I believe with exception to the hybrids. Well, that’s not the issue – the issue is the fact that the idiot thought that owning a Hummer allowed him to drive recklessly, almost cause damage to my car, and just come very short of running over a pedestrian. Hmmmm …… this doesn’t seem right to me. Maybe their motto should be “Hummer ….. driven by idiots”.

Here are the other things I just LOVE about Hummers:
Their owners tend to bitch the most about gas prices. My response: “You mindless simple idiot ……. you bought a modified MILITARY vehicle made for the MILITARY, it was meant to run over things, not be fuel efficient. You are part of the cause of high gas demand making others PAY MORE for gas, you obviously were too stupid to read the mileage on the STICKER of 8 mpg —– in other words you waived the right to complain about gas mileage when you bought the thing!!!!”
People actually use the thing for daily travel. Bad idea ….. again, ummmm ….. 8 mpg.
Their owners tend to complain when they get a ticket for taking up two or more compact car parking spaces. My response: “Yo ……. BIG vehicle, and the BIG sign in front of it says ‘Compact Car parking ONLY’. Please buy Hooked On Phonics or see if you can get your old elementary school teacher to show you how to read again, as the process obviously didn’t take the first time.”
The company that makes them basically promotes destroying the atmosphere, forgetting about alternative fuels and transportation options, and gives other countries the feeling the Americans would rather care less about a problem at hand than actually attempt to fix it. I’m not a ‘tree hugger’ but I do enjoy breathing.
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