Home > opinion, Pittsburgh, Uncategorized > Workin’ and ummmmm …… workin’

Workin’ and ummmmm …… workin’

Original Post date: October 2 2006

Workin’ and workin’ without getting anything from it?

Feeling a little moody at work. STOP. Keep in mind your moodiness and general emotional swings provide endless entertainment for your cow-workers, and can for others, if you take time to think things out. In the opinion you can’t get anything out of it? Think again ….. you just have to be a little creative. I mean, shrinks make a ton of money off of people like you, why shouldn’t you make allot of money off of you?
Here are some ideas:
1… Per Minute Web Cam, put one in your office – the porn industry makes millions of of people watching girls on web cams because they have a definite customer base – horny college guys (and sometimes girls). Think about it – you have customer base too. In addition to the people that love reality shows, you have tons and tons of college psych students that need a case study. It’s allot easier for them to pay $1/min to watch you freak out in your office as opposed to going to a family member and saying “Mom, you freak out allot and I need to do a case study on you for my psych class …. which usually results in the loss of free dinners for about three months.”
2… Take the person the irritates you the most in the office, team up with them, and tour all the comedy clubs. It’s known that some of the world’s best comedy teams have ended up hating each other. Well, do the reverse, take your irritations and hatred towards your office coworker on the road. Think it won’t work … think Dilbert. Allot of people said that comic strip was stupid too. And on the even brighter side, if you two get into a fist fight on stage, it will only result in a few bruises and allot of $$$ in free advertising for your next show.
3… Write an anger advice book ….. people are generally really gullible. If you have a bad anger problem and profess to have “whipped it”, they will probably believe you. Publish a book, followed up by CD’s for $100 a set, a special convention center sized meeting for $200 a ticket, and one-on-one meetings for $400/hr. Remember to tie this together with a good infomercial. Think this is another stupid idea? OK …. go to a bank with an idea for a business and try to get a $40,000 loan to start it. They will probably say “no”. In three months go back and ask for a loan of $1,000,000 to do an infomercial to sell something. Don’t tell them what it is …… even though your vague about it, the bank will probably just pull out a bag of a million in cash and just hand it to you without hesitation. Why? They realize that infomercials attract suckers like magnets, and banks realize, like Mr. Barnum did ….. where there are suckers, there is also lots of $$$$.
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